I know all to well the pain you are feeling. I to lost my son over 3 years ago. You don't get over it. (anyone who says you do is lying). I still cry and think of him. We sought help for him many times with no luck. I guess all I can say is pray (it really does help) and it makes you feel alittle better. I will share with you my story just a short one.
My son had problems all his life of 28 years. Nothing could make him see himself as a good person or a great son. He was depressed, moody and often taking chances we as adults know not to.
We sought out help many times but nothing got through.
I got a call from the morge one night at approx 10pm and asked to come some 6 hrs away to identify my sons body.
I prayed it was not him but who was I kidding. Then I prayed that even though I always felt suicide was instant going to hell I prayed everday to god that he was in heaven. I awaited an answer (I really did).
finally one morning my husband said he had a dream ( he doesn't dream) that my son spoke to him and he said to say to me that he is ok and to let me know he was with god.
I could tell you some other things that happened to make me believe this but I truly do and I want you to know that god does hold our children even those who commit suicide.
My prayers are with you and please know God knows and so does your son that you loved him.
Sincerely, Grandmacares
