Quote From: germankimHi everyone..I need help!!! Ok here goes...I have a friend, a REALLY good close friend. We are like sisters. While I was living back in the States, we lived together. Her and her husband, me and my fiancee and child. Before I left and moved to Germany with my fiancee and child, we were going through some old boxes and some letters fell out. I picked them up and asked her why they were addressed to me and 3 years earlier??!!
She explained that when she lived in San Diego, of course she missed me and she wrote me letters but could never send them off. I asked if I could read them and she got very nervous and ran out of the garage. Well, I found one and read it. In the letter she explained how much she missed me and loved me. But in a way more than just friends!! I was sooooo happy to hear that, because I felt the same for her for years!! I told her everything was ok and we kept being friends.
Well, after I moved here to Germany, she got a divorce from her husband, her mother died, and I wasn't there for her, physically. The guilt that I felt. She keeps asking me when am I leaving my fiancee and moving back!!! I feel sooo crappy because I love her but I dont want to hurt my fiancee. I love him too but ever since I found out how she fells about me, I dont feel the same about him! I cant stop thinking about her and I am REALLY in love with her...but what do I say to my man. I love him too.
Only her dad knows about our love for one another. I cant tell my family that Im gay or even bisexual! Im stuck between a rock and a hard place, what do I do??!! Pls help.
Dear Germankim
I've been out for some years now and the biggest thing I've learnt is go with your heart on this one. Love is love and if you both feel it then you should explore it. Being with someone you love but are not in love with is unfair to both you and him. Compassion and empathy for him is required as he will be devestated and won't understand...it's your call if you tell him the truth...be gentle on yourself and him. I don't know his nature so I can't say if you should have escape plan on hand. Some guys get offended, some think it's kinky...sorry that's human nature...you know him better than anyone...use your intuition on this one...I say go for it Girl...When it comes to families...well my parents have known since I was 21 and it's taken me 14 years to finally get the message into their heads...they still don't get it...and never will...I'm not bothered by that anymore...it hurt for a long time then just recently I wrote them a very long letter, and in it referenced my love for people of the same sex...(I've been out with both) it was the way I was born...and after years of beating myself up about it...I finally accepted it...this is your life...being happy is very important and being with someone who loves and accepts you is extremely important...you know what too do...don't let FEAR get in the way of happiness. I think it's cool she kept the letters...what a babe...I hope you both find your way...
Sugajazz
