Quote From: lisassisterMy very first message board ever!
I lost my beautiful son 1 1/2 years ago. He was five years old and the most beautiful boy that God could have given me. He was diagnosed with leukemia and went to heaven less than a year later. It went so fast, but took so long. Diagnosed in June and an angel by March the next year. Chad (better known as Cheddar by his friends and family) touched so many lives. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to endure in my 38 years of life. It has been a test on my marriage and I am married to the absolute best husband in the world. We have a 16 year old daughter as well. As you well know, that alone is a test! But she is a good girl although she misses her little hunk of cheese. He got the nickname Cheddar because he was such a cheeseball!
My husband and I deal with things very differently. I need to talk and he needs to be alone. It is hard to get up every morning and be strong for your surviving child and husband. I have put on a "happy face" for almost two years and now I am ready to break. To be strong for so long and then be so sad, my friends and coworkers think I have lost my mind.
Too long of a message board? sorry
It has been over a year since your post so I don't know if you will see this reply but I wanted to check and see how you were doing and share my story with you.
I lost my 5 year old daughter on September 14, 2006 to a rare genetic condition that was like a ticking time bomb in her. It took the coroner 5 months to determine this. She was the third child for my husband and I. Our two sons don't have the condition, thank heaven. My daughter was a very happy, very loving person. It took 6 months before I could go a day without crying. I felt an intense longing for her. My sense of loss and grief was so strong I felt like I was going to go insane at times. Being a mother of two and holding down a full time job just didn't allow me to have the nervous breakdown I felt I deserved. I too needed to talk about it often. My husband didn't want to talk. He just wanted to be alone. His outlet was video games.
Five months after my daughters death my husband began having an affair. It went on for five months. I had no clue. I was so wrapped up in grief I couldn't see how bad my marriage had become.
My husband ended the affiar after I found out and I decided to stay with him.
I too struggle daily to try and put on my "happy face" and try to be strong for my sons and myself and my husband.
I hope you are still hanging on there.
