Replies to '03/13 Gorgeous Isn’t Enough'

Quote From: addi_nanny

No, Gorgeous isn't enough in some circumstances.A number of times I've seen experiments in which a poorly qualified attractive person and a qualified less-attractive person apply for the same job--the more attractive candidate (and less qualified) is usually the successful one. Does this apply to matters of the heart? No, not necessarily IMHO. Sure, the exterior package is the initial attraction for most people, but once you unwrap that package... ************* I'm married to a man who society would consider handsome. At 35 he caused 20 somethings to titter and flirt; at 53 he still turns heads. And he chose to marry me, admittedly plain, plump, and unassuming. And I chose to overcome my own feelings that I was too plain for a handsome man. Why? In his own words, he had had enough of beautiful girls who attempted to catch his eye but could not engage his mind. He chose my sense of humor and crookedly wry view of the world over a set of physical characteristics others might envy because he wanted to be able to talk to his life partner for his entire life, not just a few weeks or years. We both think we're incredibly lucky to have found each other, a feeling that continues even after 25 years. ************* In love, it should be between the ears and not dependent on some other part or parts of the body perhaps arranged in a pleasing sort of way. Ideally it should, but we as a society have come to discount internal, intellectual appearance in favor of beauty. Sad, really. ************* Do I feel inadequate? Occasionally. Does he? Yes, he says so occasionally. How do we deal with it? We talk about how much we value those unseen qualities that are the glue holding us together. Next time you see a plain woman with a handsome man, or a plain man with a knock-dead gorgeous woman, smile. They've made it past the external into what really matters.