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Replies to '11/03 Shocking Accusations'
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October 30, 2006, 10:57 pm PST
 Quote From: getclaireified When I was 4 years old, my mother took my dad to court on the accusation that he had sexually harrassed me by touching my 'private parts'. I didn't get to see my dad very often after that, and now, over 15 years later, I do not under any circumstances believe that my father did anything to harm me. I think my mother viciously attacked my father, and took something very simple completely out of context. My father is a wonderful person, and I find it very hard to believe that that could have ever happened. This episode is really going to bother me. I don't really know the facts, but after personally going through a similar experience in the eyes of that child who was talking on the camera about her father touching her pee-pee (I had said something like my father touched my privates), I immediantly felt in denial about it. I felt some sort of compassion towards the father, just because I know that if he was indeed innocent then I have a father who would know exactly how he felt. I don't know how else to explain my reaction to the preview of this episode. Part of me wants to say that maybe the mom might be taking the daughters words out of context. I tend to believe that little kids when they're younger don't know what they're saying, and it can be taken out of context. I guess it's important to take action in this case, incase the Dad isn't innocent. But I also know if he really is innocent, then he'll be traumatized for the rest of his life, just like my father has been. I love my father dearly, and I feel completely for this episode. I don't know how I'm going to take it, but I plan on watching it to see what happens... Ah, you are fortunate in seeing the truth of the matter. Good for you!
There are, indeed, women who, for one reason or another, make malicious accusations against their (ex)spouse. My husband has been suffering this for over 8 years. (There had been no accusations until the separation. The final reason he left? She wouldn't let him go to his mother's funeral. What she told the kids about the divorce? Daddy had a girl friend. A definite lie.) Unfortunately, for him and his children, they have had no contact even though they live two miles away. He can't even send a greeting card without some sort of retaliation. He found out, by accident, last December that his eldest daughter had married the previous month. He found out two months ago, again by someone mentioning that they knew his daughter, that he was a grandfather. He has been terribly traumatized by the accusations and continuing threats, etc. against him. He has, his father and siblings have, and even I have been deeply affected by the continuing lies perpetuated by this obviously disturbed woman. We wonder about the children's personal development.
You seem to be a very wise young woman. Do not despise your mother. Forgive her, if you haven't already, and continue to enjoy your relationship with your dad and your extended family. |
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November 3, 2006, 8:31 pm PST
Quote From: getclaireified When I was 4 years old, my mother took my dad to court on the accusation that he had sexually harrassed me by touching my 'private parts'. I didn't get to see my dad very often after that, and now, over 15 years later, I do not under any circumstances believe that my father did anything to harm me. I think my mother viciously attacked my father, and took something very simple completely out of context. My father is a wonderful person, and I find it very hard to believe that that could have ever happened. This episode is really going to bother me. I don't really know the facts, but after personally going through a similar experience in the eyes of that child who was talking on the camera about her father touching her pee-pee (I had said something like my father touched my privates), I immediantly felt in denial about it. I felt some sort of compassion towards the father, just because I know that if he was indeed innocent then I have a father who would know exactly how he felt. I don't know how else to explain my reaction to the preview of this episode. Part of me wants to say that maybe the mom might be taking the daughters words out of context. I tend to believe that little kids when they're younger don't know what they're saying, and it can be taken out of context. I guess it's important to take action in this case, incase the Dad isn't innocent. But I also know if he really is innocent, then he'll be traumatized for the rest of his life, just like my father has been. I love my father dearly, and I feel completely for this episode. I don't know how I'm going to take it, but I plan on watching it to see what happens... When I was younger my mother was very abrusive toward my father. She stabbed him, shot guns at him, threw and ax at him and every time the police showed up me and my siblings would lie to the police and say my father attacked her. That was the 70s, so they'd make him leave the home. He always came back, but by the 80s things had changed, men because the target of police because of all the hype around battered women. In 1989 my mother stabbed my father once again. He went to the hospital and I went with my mother to the police department to lie that my dad had attacked her and the stabbing was in self defense. My father went to jail for 3 months and only got out because my mother didn't follow through with charges. When my father returned that time he was not the same. I later learned that he, and older Christian man was locked up with a whole cell of criminals and there are rumors that they made him strip in the cell. I have tried to apologize to my father fo my lies, but really it should be my mother apologizing for using me as a weapon against my father. The guilt I live with has altered my whole life. Sadly I'm engaged to a man going through a similar plight with his ex wife of 12 years. They have an 11-year-old daughter and the mother uses allegations of sexual abuse to torture my fiance'. The daughter has learned that she's rewarded for saying things like her father walks in when she's taking a shower. I live with my fiance' and his daughter uses my shower and he's never in the room when she showers. She also cries and looks miserable when her mother drops her off, as soon as we drive off she's laughing and singing and trying to wrestle and play with her father. Even when we go to drop her off at her mother's about an hour before drop off she goes into this mood of misery, this way when she jumps out of the car and runs to her mother's car she make her believe that she's sat in a corner crying the whole visit. Once I caught her calling her mother and telling her that she hadn't been fed in two days. I got the phone and told her mother that we had just returned from a Crabfeed and that her daughter had won a hot dog eating contest at the festival. Another thing that bothered me is that when she started her period, I had her call her mother to tell her and the first thing I heard her mother ask is, "Did Jada put the tapon in you?" Fortunately the little girl told the truth. I thought I was doing something good by letting her call her mother over this life change and the mother tried to make it something dirty. First of all I would like to know who would give an 11-year-old girl a tampon on the first day of her period? But I'm rambling, but women do lie on fathers. And all I could think the whole show is IF the father is lying, this show has will set back fatherhood almost 20 years. You can't always believe a child when the mother is alienating them from their father. |
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December 11, 2008, 4:20 pm PST
Quote From: getclaireified When I was 4 years old, my mother took my dad to court on the accusation that he had sexually harrassed me by touching my 'private parts'. I didn't get to see my dad very often after that, and now, over 15 years later, I do not under any circumstances believe that my father did anything to harm me. I think my mother viciously attacked my father, and took something very simple completely out of context. My father is a wonderful person, and I find it very hard to believe that that could have ever happened. This episode is really going to bother me. I don't really know the facts, but after personally going through a similar experience in the eyes of that child who was talking on the camera about her father touching her pee-pee (I had said something like my father touched my privates), I immediantly felt in denial about it. I felt some sort of compassion towards the father, just because I know that if he was indeed innocent then I have a father who would know exactly how he felt. I don't know how else to explain my reaction to the preview of this episode. Part of me wants to say that maybe the mom might be taking the daughters words out of context. I tend to believe that little kids when they're younger don't know what they're saying, and it can be taken out of context. I guess it's important to take action in this case, incase the Dad isn't innocent. But I also know if he really is innocent, then he'll be traumatized for the rest of his life, just like my father has been. I love my father dearly, and I feel completely for this episode. I don't know how I'm going to take it, but I plan on watching it to see what happens... I sence that something is going on with the grandmother and mother. The clothing of the mother showing her breast, and all the publicity the grandmother is trying to get, I believe is self-serving. According to Bowen's theory, people who are similar get into relationships with each other and I don't think either party is totally innocent. I also believe we are so afraid of harming a little innocent child we let our emotions rule without really considering all evidence or lack of it to factor into our evaluations. It is really easy to string up the father in the name of self-righteous justice, but we do not have all the facts perhaps. |
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