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November 1, 2006, 2:41 pm PST
She was given the chance to tell him herself
Quote From: shrimpetySo you must have a pretty sick relationship with your daughter that you would violate her confidence in you by telling her husband something so devistating. Regardless of the emotional state your daughter was in she was wrong to do what she did but it was her cross to bear, not yours. There are many more productive ways you could have offered support and guidance to her. If you were my mom I'd certainly not be living with you. As for his behaviour why are you passing judgement on him when you are the one that set the wheels in motion? He clearly has emotional issues and maybe their marriage wasn't in the best shape but he is HER husband, it is THEIR marriage to work on or end no yours. I do believe that "sick" is a bit harsh. You mention "Her" husband and "Their"marriage. I agree, it is, which they very well should keep under their own roof. That would work in a "perfect" world.
But reality is young couples involve their parents in the marriages. It's just a fact. Young married couples look to their parents no different that the guests on Dr. Phil look to him for advise and it's readily available.
They look to their parent for advise and guidance with problems they have at age 25 just as they do when they are age 15. Only difference is the actual problems are more adult problems.
Reality is when young couples have children and become parents for the first time they turn to their parents for advise and guidence.
Reality is you never stop being a parent. Now this perfect world we all would love to live in, young couples would go off and marry never to mention problems in their lives again.. but that just isn't going to happen.
(and like I said, I decided that it was in the best interest of the marriage, family, and others only after advise from several other people who were effected)
You mention there were more productiove way I could have offered support and guidance to her. I welcome those suggestions.
Let me say this was not done without giving a lot of thought to telling this, without telling my daughter she should do it, without giving her as much time as possible to do it herself, and without warning her that another person involved was on the verge of telling him at any moment.
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