Message Boards
Replies to '12/26 Cheating Disasters'
|
December 26, 2006, 8:03 pm PST
 Quote From: gable1 I think you are running from yourself and I know the kind of deep emotional lost you are feeling.
You want to keep gong back to where you feel comfortable, ( with your Husband). that relationship doesn't sound very happy or healthy for either of you.
Get yourself into theraphy, and put one step in front of the other until you are mentally on better ground. It will help you to understand why you want to stay in this relationship and you will learn about yourself. What once looked like the only way will amaze you as to why you ever wanted to be there in the first place. STAY OUT OF A NEW RELATIONSHIP UNTIL YOU HAVE DONE THE WORK ON YOURSELF. "NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES".
The Change needs to start with you. You will give yourself a chance at happiness and you will gain the ability to deal with life on lifes terms. Life is NEVER easy, we are complicated. Stuff is always happening. Whenever my husband and I go through a tuff situtation, he says, Whew, I'm glad that's over. I tell him enjoy it. Life happens.
If you do not get help you will repeat and repeat yourself over and over again.
If y ou were ill you would run to the Doctor.
It's time you run don't walk for help. I know I have been in your shoes and I chose a new future instead of repeating my pass.
I read a lil book given to me by a friend, "How to survive the lost of a love". I don't remember the author, it was a woman. The one thing that stuck with me even to this day was what sould I do tomorrow, the answer was, "stick to sidewalk and freeze". When surviving the lost of a love you get to the point where you can finally move but don't know exactly what to do. Sometimes it is better to stick to the sidewalk and do nothing that day, but atleast you did something.
So can you.
I think u should get counselling & find out why you need to get into abusive controlling relationships so as not to repeat the pattern. I also married a man 17 yrs older than myself who is a masoginist (woman hater) and extremely controlling. I had a premature infant and developed a chronic disease afterwards which made his behavior worse (more abusive, controlling & psychotic) I took myself to a psychologist who advised me to leave the relationship, she feared for myself & my then 2 yr old son. My son is now 17 & it has been a long & painful journey if I had it to do over I would have left immediately but I can't go back in time & change what happened. he has refused to get psychiatric help although he does take Valium which helps. My disease is made worse with stress and this awful living situation has certainly made my health worse. All in all I hope u listen to these people who are trying to help u. Life is too short to be miserable when u can work on yourself & building a healthy relationship. It takes a lot of hard work but in the long run it is worth it. That's exactly what I plan on doing. It's never to late to CHANGE YOUR LIFE !!! I;ll be praying you find health & happiness. |
|
Return to the Message Board
