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Replies to 'Competitive Family Relationships'
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November 17, 2006, 5:11 am PST
 Quote From: figuritout Dawgmom, I can empathize because I have a dysfuntional family as well and a certain in-law has a lot of control over certain family members. In this case, it all revolves around money (gifts, etc) and a future inheritance.
I did want to say something about the dog allergies. Your DIL may be telling the truth about that. I am VERY allergic to dogs and cats (proven by symptoms and skin testing). However, when I get a young pet and live with it, my body adapts. I have little to no allergic symptoms. When I visit someone with a dog or go into a pet store or animal shelter, I have severe symptoms including asthma. My allergist told me that there are people who react this way, so I'm not the only one.
Still, this does not excuse the behavior of your son and his wife. That is a much bigger problem. Have you thought about going to counseling to talk about the rejection that you're feeling? If you can deal with the hurt and avoid getting more angry, it might keep you from doing or saying something that you'll regret later. I am not implying that you are the problem. I do think it would help to have someone to talk to (third party, professional) who can help you sort it all out.
Your son might be going along with all of this because he puts money above relationships. Do you think so? Was your son hard to deal with before he married? You're missing the point here. The dil;s parents are controlled by her dad's parents and they in turn are controlling my son and his wife(their daughter). IT IS ALL ABOUT THE MONEY HERE<One set of dil grandparents control the situation and the other set are being neglected too. DIL parents kept their puppy inside the pawn shop when he was a puppy and all of them over there with allergies were not bothered by their dog but OUR dog seems to have different DOG HAIR that causes allergies., Lets not forget here that when babies are born they have many, many immunities to things that later on will affect them. A cannot be kept in a bubble that only includes dil's side of the family. This is what is going on here. I know her parents are controlling because they _not out of the kindness of their hearts-- so conveniently loaned my son and their daughter money to buy their double wide. Then they proceeded to remake the trailer into what the inlaws wanted it to be because they are in the trailer rental property thing. This way if dil and son move or whatever, it is fixed up for someone else to move into right away. Also as I have said before, I advised my son that it wouldn't be a good idea for them to live up under either set of parents but while we were on a trip out west 2005, they conveniently signed papers on the trailer. The paper signing was supposed to have been in April 2005 but conveniently got put off until we were out of town. These people buy SILVER COINS and JEWELRY from 13 year olds to put in pawn shop and pray tell me that you're not going to think that is normal for a 13 year old to be pawning off silver coins and jewelry! This family bought these from my brother when he was 13 and you know full well that they knew my brother had stolen these items because they were my parents things. Point is dil mother is always got her a-- stuck into everything and my son tells me that well that's k's mother. lets get real here. it because they live about 500 ft from each other. I feel like an intruder the few times we have been to son's house. Not comfortable at all and they treat his whole side of the family this way. I am not very forgiving of this type of behavior either but I guarantee I will not forget it EVER> when k was first nursing A , mil had her face stuck down at dil's breast like she was the one nursing. I am not buying anything that explains stupid behavior. When dil and son had their going home PRIVATE supper from the hospital, guess whose a== was stuck in the room betraying their private moment as new parents NOT ME! and I think the kids needed their privacy. Privacy is an issue with me I guess but this is ludicrious for HER mother to be about all of their business. This all started in 4=05 when my son got pictures off the couch at my house I had developed with K in her wedding dress. Instead of putting them back into the package and not saying anything about it for the time being, he takes the pictures that were not his to take, down to HER parents house and shows them all to her parents and her. Then he told K that i said he should LIE to her about it. Then she's pi-==ed off at me since then because I won't tell her that all that business was my fault that son saw a picture of her in her wedding dress. They call me dysfunctional! GET REAL and smell the coffee! DAWGMOM05 |
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