Replies to '11/06 The Lie Detector'
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November 4, 2006, 1:59 pm PST
 Quote From: edieangel i watch Dr. Phil show daily, never miss a show, and I have high respects for the man, but he totally shocked me today. I cannot believe that as smart as Dr. Phil is, that he believes so strongly that what CPS says is is the the absolute truth all of the time. This is so not the case. As a past Rape Crisis Director who worked with not only rape victims, but victims of child sexual and physical abuse and neglegt, and a Grandmother who has fought over and over with the system to get my own grandchildren help....I know for a fact that CPS turns their back on many, many cases of child neglect, abuse, sexual/physical, and emotional. Not all of the time of course, but sadly way too many. In my past professional expierences with them in several states, I have found that a lot depends on the worker who does the initial investigation. If it is a gung ho worker who is smart as a whip...street smart, not so necessary book smart, then you have a fighting chance of getting good help. I have also have in the past dealt with workers that for many different reasons in their own life, let their own personal opinions interfere with their so-called professional opinion, therefore blocking their judgement in making good sound decisions and investigations. Then there is the workers that are just plain (and this goes to either being street smart vs. book smart) not smart enough to look beyond the first impressions, in other words the offenders can outwit the workers very easily, ex: worker calls to set up an interview (stupid in my opinion) offenders have plenty of time to clean up the house, get food in the house, warn children of what to say or not say, and put on the "happy Beaver Family" act. I have seen this over and over and no further visits resulted. End of case, until sadly down the road when something horribly wrong happens to the child. Then they get involved full speed, but that is too late in my opinion. Not when that could have been derailed if initial reports were taken seriously. Happens all too often sadly. Secondly, anyone in their right mind can see through the terror in this child that SOMETHING is going on. And for Dr. Phil to say the mother and grandmother is egging on the historonics in the child is really upsetting. What mother would not take that child in her arms and hold her tight, comfort her if the child was that upset, that determined that she did not want to go and making statements that they were hurting her??? My God, read more into what the child is saying, how she is acting and reacting to the situation and less time in making excuses as to why she is doing it. There is something wrong, very wrong when a child is acting that upset like that especially one that young. Those emotions and fears can not be coached into a child that young, not like that. Please help that little baby. Please before it really is too late, and then everyone has to say "If we had only....." The father, or stepmother for that matter very well could be guilty, and if they are then they should not leave the Dr. Phil stage without being hauled off by the authorities... however, as i posted before, my husband and I have experienced this same thing all because my stepdaughter told her mother she wanted to live with us & her mother was determined to make sure my husband wouldn't stand a chance in heck of getting full custody by accusing him of abuse. Luckily in our case the woman has so many split personalities (in my personal opinion) that she just can't keep her stories straight & slipped up in an interview with the original investigators & basically said that she made it up. Too bad she drug my stepdaughter into the police station with her to give 'her story.' We found all of this out after the fact from one of the investigators (after the polygraphs, interviews, etc. were all over). One of the main things that supposedly tipped them off that she was lying was that when interviewing my stepdaughter, her mom refused to leave the room & then refused to keep quiet, continually 'correcting' the girls story. They still questioned my husband & me but only used our statements against her. We no longer have anything to do with her or, unfortunately, my step daughter as this woman does not know when to stop. We had the choice of filing for custody (told we'd have 75% chance but she'd still get visitation & we'd STILL have to put up with her, or give up the visits with my stepdaughter & also give up direct contact with the mom. We chose the latter) We've moved THREE times since all of this happened and she is still trying to get our address from our lawyer. Whenever she finds out where we live (in a different town) she just shows up! For the typical reasons of course... in town shopping & couldn't find a store with a washroom, could she use ours please. Stuff like that. It is very, very difficult to go after her for harrassment when there is a child involved. Beleive me, we've tried EVERY angle for the past several years. Our son's school has her full description as she has even tried to show up there! We can't press charges unless she actually tries something. It hasn't counted when she just sits outside in a car or stands on the front lawn.
So, it is very possible that a mother can manipulate a child, even a 3 year old. I'm not saying that Kaylee IS in fact being manipulated, however, I don't know any mother (other than that of my stepdaughter) who would allow their child time after time to go with someone when they are screaming and balling like that. Now there is separation anxiety which is different. A mom drops her kindergartener off at school for the first week and she cries bloody murder every morning because she doesn't want to be away from mommy. In cases like that, the teacher, school councellor, etc. would typically advise the mom to leave the child at school even if he/she is still crying. The child will adjust. That is one thing. But if a child (coached for video or not) is screaming and crying that she doesn't want to go with someone because they might hurt her pee pee, that mother should be balling and crying herself (which I didn't hear either Krista or her mother doing) and also refusing to let the daughter go. And after videotaping what she is saying take the tape to the cops, CPS, a lawyer or whoever and say "I know I am breaching the court order by not letting the dad take her but THIS is why I refused!" and then let them deal with it. I certainly would not take a video and send it into a talk show so my poor daughters face could be plastered over millions of television screens! Not to mention the mom should be jumping down the throat of the accused person not saying 'okay I'm putting you down so your accussed molester can take you for 2 unsupervised days and nights. See ya.' ! I know if my child accused someone of doing that to him, that person would NOT be leaving my yard unless black & blue or in handcuffs!
My stepdaughter had always been coached by her mom. If the roads were really bad and we could not drive all the way to her house to pick her up because it wasn't safe, her mom would have her call here (we're talking while she was between the ages of 2 -7) and 'cry' that she hates daddy now because he doesn't love her enough to pick her up. We recorded some of these conversations for our lawyer where you can even here her mom in the background telling her to 'sound more sad'. Her mom would even put into her head that we would go to the fair, park etc. without her and almost every other visit we ever had with my stepdaughter she would be pouting and angry at us for doing these fun things without her... even though we never did.
It is true that if a child of 3 years old comes up themselves with a story like Kaylee was saying, then it probably is true as they cannot 'make up' a lie like that. A child that age would make up a lie with a more fantasy-type story. It is also true that a child CAN be coached to say things even if they are only 3. Also, there is such anger between the parents as it is, I bet that everyother word Kaylee hears from either household is something negative about the other. It is also quite possible that she has fears and anxieties towards the father & stepmother because she only hears bad things about them so they MUST be bad.
There are things that ARE questionable such as the torn labia, but WHY if CPS knew this occured at the dads house and they called the mom at 4am about it, then WHY would they not step in and investigate the dad before allowing the child back there to visit? I know they can be overworked, underworking, negligent at times but THAT is a suspicious injury that would and should raise their eyebrows.
I hope that Kaylee is able to get help, which I'm sure Dr. Phil will make certain of. It may turn out that the dad is guilty, however, I'm saying it is possible that the dad is being falsly accussed to some extent. |
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November 6, 2006, 4:32 pm PST
Quote From: edieangel i watch Dr. Phil show daily, never miss a show, and I have high respects for the man, but he totally shocked me today. I cannot believe that as smart as Dr. Phil is, that he believes so strongly that what CPS says is is the the absolute truth all of the time. This is so not the case. As a past Rape Crisis Director who worked with not only rape victims, but victims of child sexual and physical abuse and neglegt, and a Grandmother who has fought over and over with the system to get my own grandchildren help....I know for a fact that CPS turns their back on many, many cases of child neglect, abuse, sexual/physical, and emotional. Not all of the time of course, but sadly way too many. In my past professional expierences with them in several states, I have found that a lot depends on the worker who does the initial investigation. If it is a gung ho worker who is smart as a whip...street smart, not so necessary book smart, then you have a fighting chance of getting good help. I have also have in the past dealt with workers that for many different reasons in their own life, let their own personal opinions interfere with their so-called professional opinion, therefore blocking their judgement in making good sound decisions and investigations. Then there is the workers that are just plain (and this goes to either being street smart vs. book smart) not smart enough to look beyond the first impressions, in other words the offenders can outwit the workers very easily, ex: worker calls to set up an interview (stupid in my opinion) offenders have plenty of time to clean up the house, get food in the house, warn children of what to say or not say, and put on the "happy Beaver Family" act. I have seen this over and over and no further visits resulted. End of case, until sadly down the road when something horribly wrong happens to the child. Then they get involved full speed, but that is too late in my opinion. Not when that could have been derailed if initial reports were taken seriously. Happens all too often sadly. Secondly, anyone in their right mind can see through the terror in this child that SOMETHING is going on. And for Dr. Phil to say the mother and grandmother is egging on the historonics in the child is really upsetting. What mother would not take that child in her arms and hold her tight, comfort her if the child was that upset, that determined that she did not want to go and making statements that they were hurting her??? My God, read more into what the child is saying, how she is acting and reacting to the situation and less time in making excuses as to why she is doing it. There is something wrong, very wrong when a child is acting that upset like that especially one that young. Those emotions and fears can not be coached into a child that young, not like that. Please help that little baby. Please before it really is too late, and then everyone has to say "If we had only....." my grandmother convinced me that my father was an evil, terrilble man from the day I went to live with her at age 6 months. I often had the same reaction as Kaylee when my father came to pick me up for visits, not because he was a bad father or because he had ever hurt me, but because she told me that he did. The truth is that she gave me anything I wanted and because of that, I believed everything she told me. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized how good a man my father actually is. I lost several years with him because of the manipulation of the "responsible" adults who I as a child trusted to tell me the truth and do what is best for me.; |
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