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Replies to 'Cheated On'
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November 7, 2006, 5:23 pm PST
 Quote From: nikki52006 Hi I would like some good advice.
I am 22 years of age and my boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me some months ago.
It has taken me a long time to get over what he did to me, it hurt alot but I finally now am at the point where i have new friends and my own life back.
I have started seeing my ex again and he has started talking about maybe getting back together. When he cheated the relationship was on the rocks and i do admit that, we were hardly talking, having sex or being normal, however i in no way see what he did as being ok.
He has apologised for what he did on numerous times, and I am starting to get emotinally attached to this man once again. I constantly question if we did get back together would it work out, and would he do it again.
I have read Dr. Phils' questions on infidelity and the most important one which asks, would i be able to emointally get my life back together or would i be bankrupt. At this point in time looking if i did go back in that relationship i think i could. But is it worth it?
He is older, ready to settle down, as am i, but i am alot younger and if he did do this to me again I would be able to get on with my life far easier than he could.
What would you do if you were in my situation. All I can do is feel to follow my heart. I know there are pleantly of "fish in the sea" however I am sick of waiting for somebody to come along who I think may never come along at all. I have a great time with this man everytime we go out and I am very confused at my feelings. I always said if he ever did this to me I could never take him back, but after all of that I am contemplating doing just that!
Any advice?
All I can say is that I would not take him back. Why take a chance on someone who has a bad history already? I am married and have 2 daughters , my husband cheated on me with a co-worker and if we did not have two kids I would be GONE already. We had some problems before we got married and I had the same thoughts that you did, but let me tell you at 22 there is no hurry to get married. As you said he is older and wants to settle down if you are not ready then dont'! Enjoy being young and wait for someone who DESERVES you. I wouldn't marry someone and risk your future children on someone that has already proven unreliable. One other thing about following your heart........you also need to use your head!!! A good marriage is not just based on what you FEEL, you need to make sure this is a MAN who will be there for you and your children and not be out CHEATING. I know how you feel though, I was with my husband from 18 yrs old and got married at 21. You feel like there is nobody else out there but that is so far from the truth. You know that this is a bad decision. It is easy to go back with what is known, but trust me you will regret it. You are worth more than that. Be with someone that is trustworthy, not someone who you know is not. |
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