Replies to 'Asperger's Syndrome'

To all those parents of children with autism, aspergers, andother PDDs,   

I believe that the world is truly blessed to have parents likeeach of you.  The amount of energy andstrength it takes to care for and fight for your children every day is astounding.  My personal experiences as a para for a childwith autism have brought me great joys over the past six years.  I was given this poem a few years ago; I hopeit brings inspiration to each of you.   

                                                    "Welcome to Holland"   

                                                   By Emile Perl Kingsley   

I am often asked to describe the experience ofraising a child with a disability to try to help people who have not sharedthat unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It'slike this ...   

When you're going to have a baby, it's likeplanning a fabulous vacation trip to Italy. You can buy a bunch ofguidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Colosseum the Michelangelo David,the gondolas in Venice.You may learn some handy phrases in Italian.  Its all very exciting.   

After months of eager anticipation, the day finallyarrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the planelands. The stewardess comes and says "Welcome to Holland.   

Holland?!?you say. What do you mean, Holland?I signed up for Italy!I'm supposed to be in Italy.All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."   

But there's been a change in the flight plan.They've landed in Hollandand there you must stay. The important thing is they haven't taken you to ahorrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine and disease. It'sjust a different place.   

So you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And youmust learn a new language and you will meet a whole new group of people youwould never have met.   

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced thanItaly, less flashy than Italy. Butafter you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around,and you begin to notice that Hollandhas windmills. Hollandhas tulips. Hollandeven has Rembrandts.   

But everyone you know is busy coming and going fromItalyand they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And therest of your life, you will say "Yes that's where I was  
supposed to go.That's what I planned".   

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever goaway, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.   

But if you spend your life mourning the fact thatyou didn't get to Italy, youmay never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.