Replies to 'Coping with the Death of a Child'

Quote From: esaubrowne

  Are you saying it has not even been one month since this baby died?? Egads.  If you have lost a close family member, and you think a month is long enough to grieve, for gosh sakes, get over it, YOU are probably stuck in denial somewhere from something. Pardon the strong response.  When I first started reading you rletter, I was thinking, how long has it been, one year? two years?  Intense grief at one month is entirely appropriate, may be even more so than when the child first died.  That is because at  first,  there is shock and denial, and the need to deal with immediate issues.  The burial/cremation, news report, informing family and friends, etc. Plus,at first, there is a great deal of help and support from those family and friends.  After a couple of weeks, that all wanes away and reality sets in.  Your continued support and prayers  are most valuable now more than at first.  The time to pick up and heal and move on is an individual one, and depends on many factors.  How much support is given  by friends and family, how much the death affected other factors of life, how mentally healthy the mom/daughter were to begin with.  Some people never recover, and understandably so. Nobody ever "recovers" completely from losing a child. Just remember, when you are giving support, to meet them where they are at,and while not enabling them to wallow in misery indefinitely, use your good senses with regard to their feelings as to how and when to gently encourage them to move forward, even if only a little tiny bit atime.