Replies to '03/07 When Too Much is ... Too Much'

ckimmy

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November 15, 2006, 2:27 pm PST

I'm Going Through the same thing right now

Quote From: punkybird

I have personal experience with this type of thing and it is difficult to handle. It seems that there is no family involved. But as the family of someone who insists on hoarding, it tears a family up.

There were 20 cats, and 16 BIG dogs. My mother felt that she was the only one who could look after these animals.

My dad had built a brand new house and it was full of feces and urine. My mother never showered, she drank too much and constantly passed out in the middle of all this mess. My dad is 66 and has Type I Diabetes, very brittle.

One day I get a call from him that he has to leave, my mother has kicked him out because he wants to clean up the house.

It took months and alot of money to get this disaster straightened out. It meant going to court to get my Dad sole possession of the house. The RCMP attended one of her numerous 'suicide' attempts, when she was so drunk she didn't know what she was doing and they reported the animals to the SPCA. The house was almost condemned by the Health Board.

After the animals were gone we got her an apartment and went to the order to the house and told her that she had to move, we had to fix the house and sell it. My dad is so depressed and tired he can't work full time any more. (I might add they lived 45 min away in a small town). Everyone knew about the house. It is said but I actually had to tell my own mother that I would phone the police and have her removed if she returned to the house.

I am happy to say that she and my dad are living together again in the apartment only a few streets over from me. She does have to face charges on animal cruelty, mainly because she refused to euthanize animals that were obviously in distress.

I spent all my savings to get the house in condition to sell, but we still haven't been able to sell it, so my Dad is facing a financial crises. Everyone in the small town knows about what happened and feels that house is unsanitary even though it has totally been renovated.

I have managed to help my dad get a deal with the bank for them to finance all his debt and hold off on taking any payments on any of it and the mortgage for 6 months, with the hope that the house will sell.

My mom has quit drinking and is trying very hard to deal with the chaos she has created, but she doesn't really get what all the damage is she has done. And believe me this blowout was just the tip of that iceberg.

This a real problem for anyone who has to deal with it, but in all honesty the only way to deal with it is head on and with as much force as possible. Because someone who hoards doesn't get that it's a problem and you can't even start to help them until you get them away from it, so that they can feel a change in their life.

I take it from your reference to the RCMP that you are from Canada. Myself being a fellow Canadian needs some advice on how to handle the same situation with my own mother.

My mother currently has more than 35 cats in her home (Since the last time I counted. I'm sure there is more but she won't allow me inside her home any longer.) She does not live in the country, she lives in a regular suburban neighbourhood.

She is showing the classic signs of being an animal hoarder. Her home is absolutely filthy, full of feces and urine. She feels that she is the only hero in this world for abandoned animals, and she lives practically in isolation. My brother, who is autistic, still lives with her, and doesn't really know what to do about the situation.

My grandmother hasn't been allowed inside my mother's house for the last 18 years, and my husband, while we were dating, was never allowed inside my mother's house. My husband and I have been together for almost 12 years, and to this day, he still hasn't seen inside the house that I grew up in.

My mother also drinks too much. Recently, she was ordered by her doctor to stop drinking and to attend an addicts out-patient program. She attended group sessions until she was told she'd have to switch to individual counselling because the other addicts said she smelled.

To date, I have told my mom how I feel about her living situation. I have taped the Oprah show segment that talked about animal hoarding and had given to her to watch. I will be doing the same thing from today's show as well.

I have done some extensive research regarding health problems that can arise when someone lives with too many animals in an isolated space. I have told her about this as well.

My mother has just retired and doesn't have a lot of income coming in right now. She is also facing a lot of health problems (non-cat related) that she is going to have to face 5 years from now. i.e. a neurological disorder that causes her to lose feeling in her lower extremities. Her specialist has told her the disorder is not reversible and that she will be facing life in a wheelchair down the road.

Any advice on how I can convince her that she needs to get her life straightened out? Not just for her now, but to make it easier for her down the road when she is in a wheelchair?