Quote From: lilliesmommiei have been in my relationship with my fiance for 2 and a half years and i knew about the porn from the beginning as well. At the beginning it was something that we both enjoyed together and then i got pregnant, ever since then our sex life has been on the decline and the porn usage has been on the rise. I finally got tired of the porn videos so i threw them away. Much to my surprise he picked one out of the trash and kept it. well one night when we were having sex after i had reached my climax and he hadn't he pulled it out and proceeded to masturbate. I got very upset. So when he was done i broke it into a million pieces and threw it in the trash. I thought that was the end to the porn, Boy was i wrong. I was going to delete the cookies on MY computer and i noticed that he had some cookies on there so i went in and looked at the things he had been looking at, i have to mention i have to delete cookies one at a time, i found all sorts of porn on there. Since i had our daughter i haven't lost any of the baby weight and she is now 16 months old, so i am very self conscious about my body. When we have sex it literally only takes 3 minutes for him to ejaculate and i am left lying on the bed wondering why. We have been in many fights about the subject because it only takes 3 minutes when we have sex but if he is watching porn it takes up to 4 hours before he is done, I try to tell him how it is making me feel and that it is wearing what little self esteem i have left to the ground. What am i supposed to do about this? he is a grown man and who am i to treat him like a little boy? I am just grateful that it is porn instead of other women. but how do i get my point across to him?
From what I am picking up in you is that you don't feel quite sexual right now and that has to be frustrating and depressing you too. So, make a plan to keep working on your self esteem by working out if you can, eat a proper nutritous diet and get as much rest as you can. Even if you are not sleeping, just give yourself the time to breath life in and let out all your love. The more love we give out, the more surrounded we are by it!!!! Try it, it really works!
It does not seem like your guy is going to stop and some of them don't. It is what it is and you got to call it what it is. It is a man that is into porn and is not going to give it up; not for no-one. If you keep looking for clues that he is using porn, that he is lieing to you, if you need more proof, then keep playing detective and see how long you can keep it up before you go completely insane!!!!!!! Thats what this does. It can drive a person to start questioning everything they feel, do and think. Women lose their sense of self when they spend good time trying to prove to themselves that they are right......their men are sluts!!!! Why do we need to prove this?
If men will be men and they don't want to give undivided attention to their women, then, unfortunately, they will get exactly what they are giving.....a fantasy sex partner. He will one day wonder how he managed to give up true intimacy for some sexy females that are only in his head, not in his heart. Thats what I feel bad for. I feel sorry for my husband, even though I am pissed, I still feel sorry that he is so caught up in porn that he doesn't even see how much he is sacrificing. I hope he finds his happiness one day, but more importantly, I am on the road again.......searching for mine. I hope you also find the strength one day to feel that you do count!!!!!!!!
