Quote From: hi2dayI guess I am duh, or just a hopeless pollyanna. I am having a hard time figuring out what would motivate my family members to be so hateful! I have 4 sisters, I was not the favorite and rather rebelous of my Mom ( she couildn't control me) . I always wanted to do my own thing. Instead of rebelling into drugs or something destructive I struck out on my own and got a good job and went into modeling. My sisters were jealous of me at that time of my life and so was my Mom. I think because they were all at home having babies while my husband and I were out jet setting, around. I married well, my husband makes about 4 times as much as their husbands and also my parents. We had lived all these years in another state and after we became parents, they were constantly bugging us to move 'home' to be closer to the 'family'. So 4 years ago we did, what a difference! They treated us nicer long distance. I can't figure it out, they practically ignore us, except when they want something! They always leave me out, I invite them to do things and they decline. Later to find out that they (with my Mom) have gone somewhere together without even asking me to go. My sisters won't call me ever, I have to call them first. I am always giving them things,( I guess I'm trying to buy their affection.) And they never send me even so much as a thankyou note. My Mom is very secretive about what my sisters and she are doing. They have made comments about our house and the cars we drive, "someday we plan on having a nice house and cars too." This is so hurtful to me and when I let them know I feel left out, they almost seem smug and happy about it. Whenever I call them and find these things out I am hurt for days. This may not be a good reason but I continue to try to have a relationship with them because my husband is an only child,his parents are gone and our child is an only child and we have no one else. I wish we would have never moved back. What are you thoughts? The Toxic Parents book was helpful, I did read it. I guess I need to limit contact and get more outside friends. Its just always in the back of my head and is an unresolved problem that I constantly have to deal with. What a drag! Got any suggestions?
i think i just posted your reply to another person. But i wanted you to surprise visit your family this christmas with a homemade chrissy cake or chocolate rumble balls. Children do need to see their grandparents and cousins and cut the crap with the adults. You are strong enough to bear their bad manners and let your child have his time. Your husband doesnt need to visit on the first occasion see how it goes. You need to relate directly to your mother. Wear a normal tracksuit - some casual clothes and comfy wear. Feel relaxed and it wont be easy. But delivering a baby wasnt easy you just need the will to do it. If it is hurting your child to be their then you will need to break away and have another child for your only child to love and feel comfort being within your own family - you, your husband, the only child & the new child. That is the only family you need when its the last resort.
You may need to look back at the message boards other person who quoted a remark to you. I am new to this messaging so im not sure who gets what. Good luck and don't ring to keep in touch, visit only. Get it first hand, have a great time on your own. Some mothers can only handle one person at a time and really who doesn't hate talking on the phone, i certainly do!
Have a nice holiday season and dont buy your affection you are only causing the gap to widen.
