Replies to 'Childhood Sexual Abuse Support'

Quote From: bzbluiii

Yes, this did happen, it is true.  What I don't know is why or if there is some other explanation other than what seems obvious.  On this board there is a lot of talk about confronting your abuser or forgiving people who hurt you.  That is all I am trying to do.  I was hurt, so were a lot of other people.  There was a lot of emotion spent trying to understand and advise.  Sometimes the mother instinct kicks in when talking to a young person and it becomes very personal.  I'm sorry if I am disturbing the board, that is not my intention.,  I'm a m sorry too if this sort of thing happened to you.  Yes, I have learned from it but it doesn't make it pain free.  I guess I am just a hick from Po-Dunk USA, not very wise about the world, but it doesn't mean someone should mess with my emotions like that.  

Please do not mistake the fact that I forgave my Father for the abuse that I did not suffer confusion and despair in my life. This forgiveness was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. To give a little more background, right before I left home and one of the main reasons for leaving I had planned out how to murder him. I wanted him dead for all the pain and suffering he had put me through as well as my siblings. I left so not to say his life so much but that more I did not want to ruin mine. There was a genuine hate inside of me for years towards ALL men. I throughly distrusted women as well. I felt betrayal from both my step mother for not stepping up to the plate and falling into abusing me herself . I also hated my mother for abandoning me to shack up with my now step father and moving to Montana.

This healing process took many many tears, much rage and a long time mourning the loss of the child that was so hurt and so beaten down within me. I want to encourage you to continue to reach out and seek help. Your confusion and mistrust is perfectly normal and I have felt it. I want you to know that I understand and if you ever need someone to chat to you are more then welcome to contact me. carmadragoness@ yahoo.com

We get free by talking about the demons inside of us and letting the dragon loose. Just do so in a healthy environment with professional help. I wish you peace

sincerely,

Deb