Replies to '11/24 Great School Debate'

Children are children for a reason. We force them to do lots of things. Eat veggies, get shots, go to bed.

Why is learning suddenly different? Should we encourage kids where the shine? YES!!! Always!

But I don't hate using the word forced. LOL I force my daughter, Emma, to do LOTS of things she dislikes. She's a kid and she doesn't know what is best for her. I'm her mother, I do know better than she does what is best for her.

With regard to forcing them to learn something: It's hit or miss.  I know some people to this day who say, "You know, the teachers kept trying to drum such and such into my head but I could never really grasp it - perhaps I could understand it now."

I would be very concerned, yes, if one of my children showed neither interest, nor aptitude for learning to write by the age of 12.  Each of my 4 children learned to read and write at different ages, but when they did, it was authentic.  But for the hypothetical example of the 12 year old not writing, I would not give up, I would try to find ways to encourage it all the time.  I'd also meet my children where they were at, and accept the fact that for this particular child, acquiring the skill was simply going to take longer, but would be slow and steady.

But learning anything needs a receptive and willing mind.   I do believe that forcing, rather than encouraging, simply is counter-productive.  It wears out both the caregiver and the child, with a ratio of very few good results.  I know for my own children, the best way to shut them down and get a brick wall between us is when I insist on forcing my own agenda on them.  They even do have built-in gimmick detectors.  BUT, there are times in their life when they do have to learn things, and when they know why, and need to apply it, they are more open minded and will do it.

I know for myself in school, that much of what I learned for the purpose of getting a number on a test, and not for my own interest, did little for me long-term.  There were many subjects in school I was passionate about and addicted to, and I didn't even have to write the final exam as the teacher knew that my rubber arm needed no twisting to get any of the concepts - (language arts, social studies, music, etc).

I'll anecdotally recount, there was one subject at school, though, that the adults in my life did FORCE on me.  Looking back as an adult, I am grateful for the thought behind it (i.e. I could see what they were driving at), but on said subject, I still get my defenses up if anything is defined as being "that" subject.   Nor to this day, can I remember any of the specifics of what I learned, even though I took said subject at said grade level 3 times (1 failed 2 passed).  Oddly enough, one of my children loves this subject and I am keen on facilitating their learning for it, and they like it, and don't need my personal expertise on it to learn it.  They learn it because they obsessively research it.

This is a bit long winded, but I hope it provides a bit more information.