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Replies to 'Defining Your Authentic Self'
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September 12, 2005, 6:45 pm PDT
 Quote From: teri_id I am back from another trip. We went to Flaming Gorge on the Wyoming, Utah border to do some serious rescue practice and try to roll our big kayaks. We realized we needed more skills before hitting the ocean again.
Well, we are good at the two person rescue, but neither one of us could roll the boats. We figured out why and need to talk with some folks to see what we can do to enable us to roll without the boats filling with water. We came out of the week with lots of bruises and feeling a least a little more confident.
We did have some issues while we were gone, ones that give me reason to really explore what it is I want in life, from relationships, and whether or not I want to stay in this one. The same issues keep coming up, and usually they are directed as me being the cause, yet I am realizing that it is a shared issue. Two strong personalities don't always meld well together. So, I am doing much introspection fueled by some emotional pain and understanding that I don't have to be afraid of the future or any of the choices I make, I just need to be sure I do things for the right reasons. I think some of what is happening is because of my work in Self Matters I am more clearly able to state what is OK and what is not for me and that is threatening, which rocks the boat, so to speak. I know the ones closest to us have a difficult time handling our changes and growth when they believe it threatens them.
I have read all 64 posts that have been written during my absence and much is going on in the lives of everyone! Life is going to become very busy here shortly for myself as well, and I look forward to re-establishing my daily routines. School starts in just a few short weeks and I will be hitting the books hard as well as harvesting and canning from the garden. I am amazed at how much work there is to do and how much I actually get done compared to what I want to...lol.
I missed you all and I am glad to be back. I give a collective e-hug to you all. everyone
Teri
Good to see you back, again, Teri. I think your right. I think that when we begin to assert ourselves in relationships, it can represent a threat to those who have known us as…well…less than assertive. It also becomes unsettling to others because it actually changes the dynamics of the relationship(s). Thus, significant others must make choices about their role in the relationship, as well. I have often seen situations, particularly when the female is the one making the change, where the initial response is the good ole ’Best Defense is a Good Offense’! Hats off to ya for taking those risks to claim your space, your rights, or to just speak your mind!!! This could be very important for both of you. As I read your post and the others that came before, I can SO relate to your history of having been badly misrepresented by your ex and having family and loved ones buy into the misrepresentation and the abandonment that followed. My situation was not with an ex but was among a group of people that I REALLY loved, cherished and respected. That situation quite literally altered the way I interacted with the rest of the world. After that situation I became quite protective of information regarding me or my history. I learned a very painful and lasting lesson about human dynamics! EVEN I AM AMAZED AT WHAT I’VE SHARED ON THIS MESSAGE BOARD!!! Needless to say I find your assertiveness, your claiming your space inspiring and amazing. You seem fearless to me. Though I know that you probably aren’t. You’re just brave and courageous as you move forward. YOU GO TERI!!!!
Brenda |
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