Replies to 'Pornography'

It's amazing how many people live inside a relationship where they will tolerate things based on what they will allow or tolerate in themselves first.   That's the key here Kimi......You've been here going on like 4 years.   Nothing has changed, and nothing will.   And it's not entirely the "fault" or because of the actions of this one person in your life.  

If you want change, get to the place where you honestly believe you are strong enough to make declarations about what you will and will not tolerate inside YOUR life and YOUR marriage.  There are those things that are totally UNacceptable and will NOT be tolerated.   There are ways that you will NOT allow another person to do unto YOU because YOU could NOT imagine doing that to them.  You hold respect enough for YOURself and trust YOURself enough to know that you CAN and will make those demands about how you are going to ALLOW that person to treat you.  At the same time, YOU put forth the same attitude and respect towards them that you expect from them.  It WILL ALWAYS start from inside YOU not them.  If you want to be treated differently it always begins within yourself and how you treat them FIRST.   We are all teachers.....teaching someone else HOW we expect to be treated.  And it starts with leading the expectations....by showing them HOW to be loved, how to be respected and what we will and won't take into our lives.    And until that is done.....nothing will ever change.

Luv.....and Yes, Happy Thanksgiving too.  And I am NOT doing so great actually.....I am at a major decision making point on this day and it's really hard to know what to do. But it will pass....all things do pass and usually things get better.

It's amazing how many people live inside a relationship where they will tolerate things based on what they will allow or tolerate in themselves first.   That's the key here Kimi......You've been here going on like 4 years.   Nothing has changed, and nothing will.   And it's not entirely the "fault" or because of the actions of this one person in your life.  

If you want change, get to the place where you honestly believe you are strong enough to make declarations about what you will and will not tolerate inside YOUR life and YOUR marriage.  There are those things that are totally UNacceptable and will NOT be tolerated.   There are ways that you will NOT allow another person to do unto YOU because YOU could NOT imagine doing that to them.  You hold respect enough for YOURself and trust YOURself enough to know that you CAN and will make those demands about how you are going to ALLOW that person to treat you.  At the same time, YOU put forth the same attitude and respect towards them that you expect from them.  It WILL ALWAYS start from inside YOU not them.  If you want to be treated differently it always begins within yourself and how you treat them FIRST.   We are all teachers.....teaching someone else HOW we expect to be treated.  And it starts with leading the expectations....by showing them HOW to be loved, how to be respected and what we will and won't take into our lives.    And until that is done.....nothing will ever change.

Luv.....and Yes, Happy Thanksgiving too.  And I am NOT doing so great actually.....I am at a major decision making point on this day and it's really hard to know what to do. But it will pass....all things do pass and usually things get better.