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Replies to 'Pornography'
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November 26, 2006, 5:50 am PST
 Quote From: kimikomine One thing we know is life is bad sometimes, good sometimes and it sucks when its at its bad mode! I hope the brighter side is nearby.
I do understand that we set up the stage for how we are going to be treated and how we show others that they can treat us. I tried to be cool and it blew up in my face and I also need to believe that its not porn that destroys lives, but individuals and that could be because inside of my self I want to believe porn is not bad. Why? Because then I would have to make some major changes in many things.
Once I watched it with him, and now he thinks nothing changes? How stiff is that? People are allowed and even encouraged to change their minds and I find it really pathetic that my going in thinking porn was useful, at times in my life and open to think that is acceptable in times of desperation, having no person involved, would stamp me as a porn libber. But it sure does seem that if a girl is open to it, that makes her disrespectable? Why is it so macho in the mans world but a girl is a low life because she does the same thing? That is absurd.
Thats also being in denial and not willing to go with the flow if its not in your opinion, your opinion. But we are selfish and greedy like that and I do believe that people are solo even in relationships, so it takes like you say, similar morals or is it being flexible and compassionate? but that does not give them a right to abuse others. I do it to others and others do it to me, daily. People are mirrors of what we are and my marriage is failing because I have failed, I accept that and now I have to see if I am staying because I care about our relationship or if I am afraid to leave. And that's the part of all this that YOU deny or at least refuse to acknowledge......this response (without responding literally) is typical. It's defense. Defense of you being tolerable of your own actions and what you do....but then expect someone else to treat you differently than you treat yourself or them. I started this after reading about how you just "fell victim to curiosity" and had to seek out porn yourself. Just as you "fell victim" to the desire to BE desired and had an affair, ,....and though that's forgotten and forgiven ....YOU do not offer that same understanding to someone who falls victim to being addicted to porn...or even offer the understanding how you may even perpectuate that very obsession by your own actions inside your marriage. Is that "blaming you"....heck no. What's it's doing is saying that you cannot expect something more out of the person you love than you do yourself.
You cannot call something one thing when you do it....and a totally different thing when you do it. There is no difference. You made excuses....simple. The same exact thing the person you married makes. No....it does not make anyone a "low life".....what it makes people who will do anything to get or keep someone, even if that thing they do is totally against everything they believe is right and just....is immature. Someone who has no confidence that by sticking by their beliefs and morals they instead go with that "flow" you speak about and find themselves up against the wall....constantly doing what they "say" they don't believe is good or right....but do it anyway simply because the "majority" of their relationship is based souly on doing what they other person (or people) say is the "thing" to do. Even at their own destruction. So basically those will suffer in the end, because eventually, as you have seen, the reality of who you are will shine through....and then you can "blame" that person who doesn't accept you or understand your change of mind.....when in the beginning you showed them a totally different person than you ever really were. Who's at fault......seems to be the only thing that matters here. And then who gets to play the martyr forever?
Luv~ |
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