Replies to '06/06 Big Weight Issues'

I just felt the need to reply. 

 

My name is Jennifer.  I am the Girl on the show that is set to be aired on Dec 1st.  Dr Phil surprised me with surgery to remove my skin.  Please believe me when I say, that i have experienced everything that you are now facing.  I wrote into Dr Phil in regards to the downside of Weight loss.  My marriage was a joke,  I hated to be unclothed, touched, hugged looked at you name it I had an issue.  Even though I reached close to goal I still covered up, I was disgusting without cloths.  I was  mortified by my body the more I lost the scarier it was for me.  My body continued to look horrible the more I lost.  I always wanted to be skinny, and now that I lost my weight,  my loss became my nightmare.  I looked nothing like I pictured I would look like at goal.  I thought I could wear a T shirt yes something as simple as a T shirt and feel good about me,  But my arms were hanging swinging all the time.  To some this would appear PETTY, but to me being obese clinicly obese my entire life and finally doing something that is good to the outside as to weight loss was nothing close to good.  I resembled a melting candle, I hated my decision to lose.  I was guilt ridden that if i just stayed fat than i wouldn't have left one problem to gain another.  Surgery is extrememly expensive and one thing I knew in this lifetime No matter what,  I couldn't possibly do.  So I reached out to Dr Phil before a pre weight loss show and basically told him if he was going to do another weight losss show DO A REAL ONE OR DON"T DO ONE AT ALL!!!!  No one ever talks about the down side of weight loss that it is not alwys happy, lifes great!!! PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFttttt!!!!!!!!!!!.  I was soooo sick of seeing people at goal on stage showing off and happy with a new wardrobe or car or Trip to show off their new body I wanted to throw up.  All that is mateialistic and rots and goes away But you still have to wake each day to your body, and anything  over a 120lb weight loss is not a pretty sight.  No One ever talked about THE EXCESS SKIN. what the Hll does one do about it ? when after all the struggle,  to finally do what the media blasts in our brain to do,  we accomplish but look worse than when we started???  I lost with the dream in my head that I would look great for the first time in my life.  Hilarious, it was a cruel joke I tried soo hard but in the end the joke was on me....  My life wasn't in danger to rsort to surgery but my mental life was.  So many people don't get that. I had  agross body at 300+lbs and a gross body at goal.  I wanted to gain my weight back because than at least I would be filled out my skin wouldn't hang ripple or slap together, and the public would understand why i was covered up at the beach, ( because I was fat) But I was coverd up thin and people didn't get it.  If I exposed the sight of my flesh, I would have left people with the same reaction as if I was fat.  EWWWWWWWWW gross look at that lady, she needs to cover up.... Thin and fat I hid in big cloths.  Losing weight is not all what the media says it is.  You exchange one battle for another.  I wanted answeres from Dr Phil for all of us, but he surprised me with the Dr's from Dr 90210!!!!!!!  I came to the conclusion that maybe even Dr Phil doesn't have anything concret to help us, its all a series,  a process, but he does state that we must be realists about the whole process good and bad.  My journey I had no Idea, I guess I was dilusional.. LOL... I had noone to educate me on the whole journey I did it all ALONE.  By myself no surgery no dieticians noone me myself and my dream to be better Healthier.  Because I KNOW not everyone can have surgery,  I know alone,,, I couldn't.  The media plugs in us to lose, finally we believe in ourselves enough to DO IT.  But we are faced once again with NOW WHAT???? 

I live by the MOTTO..... Don't live to regret the things you've done.... Live to regret the things you haven't done.... In other words Just do everything.  The worst thing may turn into your biggest blessing...

 

I wanted to reach out to Angelique on the show and tell her that She CAN be where I am Because i was once where she is.  Just believe........ In YOU.  Believe that in the next minute Your Dream comes true, because thats how fast life can change.  If it takes min by min hour to hour day by day  month by month Trust that in the next min everything can change.

 

I could lose the weight myself but I couldn't shed the skin myself.  Surgery is not the answer for everyone but it was the answer for me.  Now I make it my mission to help all who are just waiting to walk in my shoes and face thier weight loss journey with pride and the belief that not another day will  you accept.... that you are worth being happy whatever your happiness is to you.

 

Smile you are 60 seconds from a Dream come true....

Sincerely Jennifer....

There are negative affects to most changes in life; however, it is SO important that people maintain good physical health to be around for their spouses, children, etc.

 

Your problem is something that CAN go away. You may need to talk to a counselor (there are free ones in about every city in this country...if you search hard enough). You may need to see a medical doctor to find out if there are others way to help w/ your depression. Changing the physical outside was the 1st step. Now you have to go on to step 2 and work on your mind/emotions.

 

I was chronically depressed (and suicidal) as a young adult. I know what it feels like to not want to live. Whenever I feel that I am heading in the wrong direction these days, I make a conscious effort to wrap my mind around something positive (my children, my husband, my elderly parents, a hobby, exercise, etc). When I am busy and putting others first, I tend to forget about myself and my unhappiness.

 

I am happy you are in a support group, but if the group is not a postive experience for you, perhaps another group would be better. Sad people tend to feed off eachother and that won't help you at all.

 

Good luck to you and God bless. You can and will get thru this bump in the road, but please celebrate (and be proud) of your weight loss. You have tackled one dragon, now you have one more left to defeat (depression). You CAN do it; I have faith in you!

I feel so bad for you.  I believe that half the reason I keep losing the same 100 pounds (and not the second 100) is my fear of that very thing.  What IF i lose that weight, and I still don't feel better about me.  I know a lot of my issues, but I can't afford counseling (and I don't have insurance).  I see those people with all of that skin hanging, and I wonder what I would do; doctors don't help you for free! 

 

Please don't give up.  Just keep talking about it, and maybe, by the Grace of God, something will just click.  I salute you for not giving up.  And to lose that much weight - you rock!  Just keep good people around you, keep talking and find a reason to laugh every day!  If you can't find a reason to laugh, just think of Dr. Phil standing on the stage, and his pants fall down!  Imagine the look on his face!!! 

 

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.......deb

that you feel so bad :-( Just because you lost a lot of weight, it doesn't automatically preclude you from having an additional problem that you now have to address.Can you find out what is making you so depressed and get some help? I really don't think it is the weight gain/loss that is making you feel so bad. It MAY be clinical depression ???? Have you talked to a doctor about this? You've come so far! You've proven you have the strength to overcome great obstacles. Hang in there!

 

First of all, please let me congratulate you on the marvelous job you have done the change your eating habits, and with the impressive amt. of weight you've lost. I need to lose 150 lbs. and I am so sick and tired of my addiction to food, I think I am finally ready to begin a plan. But it's not just about fixing your body....it's about fixing your head first. I have battled weight for too much of my life, and I am just worn out. I'm not ever going to be happy until this is fixed...inside out...food is such an instant fix, isn't it? It appears so, but actually it just makes the problem spiral out of control, and it never fixes anything in the long run...doesn't even touch the reason inside you, why you do what you do.

 

Good job seeking the therapy...this is  so important. The weight is just the symptom of a much 'heavier' problem. I will pray that you find peace and comfort in your therapy. I will pray you will find satisfaction and a renewed sense of pride in your continued weight loss and with your new body image. I wish you joy and peace and love in all areas of your life. Way to go!!!!!

There is an organization called NAAFA.  NAAFA is an advocacy group for fat acceptance.  I think we have accept ourselves no matter what others say about us.  Maybe while we're working on the tush and tummy, we should work on our thought processes?

 

The reasons you explain, the skin removal, wondering if the weight loss will "save my life" and knowing I can never have pizza or Hershey bar, tells me even if I try to lose weight now, its not gonna happen.  I'm putting food over "matter.".