Replies to '11/28 Jeremy Returns'
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November 26, 2006, 5:27 am PST
 Quote From: achiever Note to Dr. Phil... I am a Grandmother who has been worried about my 5 year old granddaughter since she was about 5 months old. I have always thought her "father" and I use that term very loosely, has been sexually abusing her, as well as emotional and physical abuse. My granddaughter had demonstrated some disturbing actions and made statements that led me to believe she was being abused. My daughter is stuck in this very abusive relationship and she doesnt know what to do. Unfortunatley, I was in the same situation withe her father many years ago. My daughter was sexually mistreated by her stepfather and I didnt do anything. I have lived with that guilt for years now. I finally got my head on straight 7 years ago and now I see the error of the choices I made back then and how there are perpetuating through the generations. I am trying to stop that cycle with my granddaughter but I feel it is too late. The DHS has been out to my daughters house on more than a few occasions. I had to raise my granddaughter for 6 months because the father and the other grandmother, as well as my daughter were accused of physical abuse of my granddaughter. During the time she was with me, she shared many stories with me that I just couldn't take. I called DHS and shared with them what she had told me and I was told that unless my granddaughter explicitly stated she saw naked bodies there was nothing they could do. She was 4 at the time.... she new enough to tell me what she saw and what she was made to do with her other grandmother of all people.
So... when I hear you say that you just don't believe that Child Protective Services would not follow up on a complaint I have to disagree. This was in Arkansas and they said they would make sure that my call was documented but they did not see any cause for an investigation. Maybe you should do a show on the breakdown of this system in America. My daughter and the father both got off from the charge of abuse and I had to return my beautiful granddaughter back to them. She went from a very angry, uncontrollable, raging little 4 year old to a sweet little girl who said her prayers at night, flowering little girl in the 6 months I had her. I have since watched her return to the angry, frustrated little 5 year old that she is now.
Please Dr. Phil.... don't turn a blind eye the reality of the Child Protective Systems in this country. I am sure there are many offices that do the job they are supposed to do.... but the one in my county...... has much to be desired.
Frustrated Grandmother feeling helpless in Arkansas. CPS puts on a GOOD show when they have someone watching them, They Don't give a Damn about The Little Children, its just more paper work for them, Ky, has the same problem, It is a very low paying job, and they are very lazy people, CPS people MAKE ME SICK!!!! |
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November 28, 2006, 2:55 pm PST
Quote From: achiever Note to Dr. Phil... I am a Grandmother who has been worried about my 5 year old granddaughter since she was about 5 months old. I have always thought her "father" and I use that term very loosely, has been sexually abusing her, as well as emotional and physical abuse. My granddaughter had demonstrated some disturbing actions and made statements that led me to believe she was being abused. My daughter is stuck in this very abusive relationship and she doesnt know what to do. Unfortunatley, I was in the same situation withe her father many years ago. My daughter was sexually mistreated by her stepfather and I didnt do anything. I have lived with that guilt for years now. I finally got my head on straight 7 years ago and now I see the error of the choices I made back then and how there are perpetuating through the generations. I am trying to stop that cycle with my granddaughter but I feel it is too late. The DHS has been out to my daughters house on more than a few occasions. I had to raise my granddaughter for 6 months because the father and the other grandmother, as well as my daughter were accused of physical abuse of my granddaughter. During the time she was with me, she shared many stories with me that I just couldn't take. I called DHS and shared with them what she had told me and I was told that unless my granddaughter explicitly stated she saw naked bodies there was nothing they could do. She was 4 at the time.... she new enough to tell me what she saw and what she was made to do with her other grandmother of all people.
So... when I hear you say that you just don't believe that Child Protective Services would not follow up on a complaint I have to disagree. This was in Arkansas and they said they would make sure that my call was documented but they did not see any cause for an investigation. Maybe you should do a show on the breakdown of this system in America. My daughter and the father both got off from the charge of abuse and I had to return my beautiful granddaughter back to them. She went from a very angry, uncontrollable, raging little 4 year old to a sweet little girl who said her prayers at night, flowering little girl in the 6 months I had her. I have since watched her return to the angry, frustrated little 5 year old that she is now.
Please Dr. Phil.... don't turn a blind eye the reality of the Child Protective Systems in this country. I am sure there are many offices that do the job they are supposed to do.... but the one in my county...... has much to be desired.
Frustrated Grandmother feeling helpless in Arkansas. Something happened like that with me, too. I was about 5 when I started to get sexually abused, and CPS said that unless I explained to them in detail, that they wouldn't do anything. We just now took him [My grandfather] to court. [I'm 15 now] The police interogated ME instead of him. It's like the victim is the suspect. What is wrong with them!? I eventually had to explain everything that happened to me in detail. He's going to prison now. Beleive me, it's all worth it. Don't give up if CPS isn't doing their job, just keep fighting forward. |
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November 28, 2006, 6:11 pm PST
Quote From: achiever Note to Dr. Phil... I am a Grandmother who has been worried about my 5 year old granddaughter since she was about 5 months old. I have always thought her "father" and I use that term very loosely, has been sexually abusing her, as well as emotional and physical abuse. My granddaughter had demonstrated some disturbing actions and made statements that led me to believe she was being abused. My daughter is stuck in this very abusive relationship and she doesnt know what to do. Unfortunatley, I was in the same situation withe her father many years ago. My daughter was sexually mistreated by her stepfather and I didnt do anything. I have lived with that guilt for years now. I finally got my head on straight 7 years ago and now I see the error of the choices I made back then and how there are perpetuating through the generations. I am trying to stop that cycle with my granddaughter but I feel it is too late. The DHS has been out to my daughters house on more than a few occasions. I had to raise my granddaughter for 6 months because the father and the other grandmother, as well as my daughter were accused of physical abuse of my granddaughter. During the time she was with me, she shared many stories with me that I just couldn't take. I called DHS and shared with them what she had told me and I was told that unless my granddaughter explicitly stated she saw naked bodies there was nothing they could do. She was 4 at the time.... she new enough to tell me what she saw and what she was made to do with her other grandmother of all people.
So... when I hear you say that you just don't believe that Child Protective Services would not follow up on a complaint I have to disagree. This was in Arkansas and they said they would make sure that my call was documented but they did not see any cause for an investigation. Maybe you should do a show on the breakdown of this system in America. My daughter and the father both got off from the charge of abuse and I had to return my beautiful granddaughter back to them. She went from a very angry, uncontrollable, raging little 4 year old to a sweet little girl who said her prayers at night, flowering little girl in the 6 months I had her. I have since watched her return to the angry, frustrated little 5 year old that she is now.
Please Dr. Phil.... don't turn a blind eye the reality of the Child Protective Systems in this country. I am sure there are many offices that do the job they are supposed to do.... but the one in my county...... has much to be desired.
Frustrated Grandmother feeling helpless in Arkansas. I totally agree with Frustrated Grandmother. Dr. Phil, you are off the mark on this one. I emailed your show two weeks ago regarding a case involving DHS in Arkansas. It does not involved child molestation, but it does involve my niece who was 6 months old at the time and tested positive for methamphetamine. Long story short, my husband & I were granted custody of her for 9 months and she has since been returned to her mother. You see, in Arkansas unless a heinous crime has been committed against the child, apparently being drug addicted at 6 months IS NOT heinous, then the goal is always reunification with the parent. We had numerous problems with Arkansas DHS and were called "baby stealers" by the DHS attorney. Dr. Phil, I think you need to look into some of these cases and report on the failing of the system that is in place to protect the children. The only people DSH/CPS or whoever is looking out for is the parents and their rights, not the children.
Also Frustrated in Kansas |
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November 28, 2006, 6:39 pm PST
Quote From: achiever Note to Dr. Phil... I am a Grandmother who has been worried about my 5 year old granddaughter since she was about 5 months old. I have always thought her "father" and I use that term very loosely, has been sexually abusing her, as well as emotional and physical abuse. My granddaughter had demonstrated some disturbing actions and made statements that led me to believe she was being abused. My daughter is stuck in this very abusive relationship and she doesnt know what to do. Unfortunatley, I was in the same situation withe her father many years ago. My daughter was sexually mistreated by her stepfather and I didnt do anything. I have lived with that guilt for years now. I finally got my head on straight 7 years ago and now I see the error of the choices I made back then and how there are perpetuating through the generations. I am trying to stop that cycle with my granddaughter but I feel it is too late. The DHS has been out to my daughters house on more than a few occasions. I had to raise my granddaughter for 6 months because the father and the other grandmother, as well as my daughter were accused of physical abuse of my granddaughter. During the time she was with me, she shared many stories with me that I just couldn't take. I called DHS and shared with them what she had told me and I was told that unless my granddaughter explicitly stated she saw naked bodies there was nothing they could do. She was 4 at the time.... she new enough to tell me what she saw and what she was made to do with her other grandmother of all people.
So... when I hear you say that you just don't believe that Child Protective Services would not follow up on a complaint I have to disagree. This was in Arkansas and they said they would make sure that my call was documented but they did not see any cause for an investigation. Maybe you should do a show on the breakdown of this system in America. My daughter and the father both got off from the charge of abuse and I had to return my beautiful granddaughter back to them. She went from a very angry, uncontrollable, raging little 4 year old to a sweet little girl who said her prayers at night, flowering little girl in the 6 months I had her. I have since watched her return to the angry, frustrated little 5 year old that she is now.
Please Dr. Phil.... don't turn a blind eye the reality of the Child Protective Systems in this country. I am sure there are many offices that do the job they are supposed to do.... but the one in my county...... has much to be desired.
Frustrated Grandmother feeling helpless in Arkansas. My sister works as a Social Worker for Childrens' Services and she would agree with you. She is soooo disgusted with the system. She can't wait to get out but needs to continue for just a few more years to get her retirement benefits. That will be a sad day for Childrens' Services and all of the abused kids in CA. She works so hard for those kids. But you should hear the stories I have heard about some (most) of the other workers. I have to say that they are given more cases than can really be handled effectively but most of the workers do not care. They come in late, go home during the day, go out for long drinking lunches. The good ones like my sister just get so burned out that they are stressed to the max. And it seems to be impossible to get fired.
I personally believe that Jeremy is abusing that little girl. He lies constantly, goes back on his word, etc. If he really cared about his daughter and had nothing to hide, he would agree to supervised visits for now and would not fight the tests that are being given to determine the truth. What does he have to worry about? He will be found out? If he is not going any harm, he will put his little girl first and agree to what Dr. Phil suggests. The child should come first, everything else is just BS. |
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December 1, 2006, 12:29 pm PST
Quote From: achiever Note to Dr. Phil... I am a Grandmother who has been worried about my 5 year old granddaughter since she was about 5 months old. I have always thought her "father" and I use that term very loosely, has been sexually abusing her, as well as emotional and physical abuse. My granddaughter had demonstrated some disturbing actions and made statements that led me to believe she was being abused. My daughter is stuck in this very abusive relationship and she doesnt know what to do. Unfortunatley, I was in the same situation withe her father many years ago. My daughter was sexually mistreated by her stepfather and I didnt do anything. I have lived with that guilt for years now. I finally got my head on straight 7 years ago and now I see the error of the choices I made back then and how there are perpetuating through the generations. I am trying to stop that cycle with my granddaughter but I feel it is too late. The DHS has been out to my daughters house on more than a few occasions. I had to raise my granddaughter for 6 months because the father and the other grandmother, as well as my daughter were accused of physical abuse of my granddaughter. During the time she was with me, she shared many stories with me that I just couldn't take. I called DHS and shared with them what she had told me and I was told that unless my granddaughter explicitly stated she saw naked bodies there was nothing they could do. She was 4 at the time.... she new enough to tell me what she saw and what she was made to do with her other grandmother of all people.
So... when I hear you say that you just don't believe that Child Protective Services would not follow up on a complaint I have to disagree. This was in Arkansas and they said they would make sure that my call was documented but they did not see any cause for an investigation. Maybe you should do a show on the breakdown of this system in America. My daughter and the father both got off from the charge of abuse and I had to return my beautiful granddaughter back to them. She went from a very angry, uncontrollable, raging little 4 year old to a sweet little girl who said her prayers at night, flowering little girl in the 6 months I had her. I have since watched her return to the angry, frustrated little 5 year old that she is now.
Please Dr. Phil.... don't turn a blind eye the reality of the Child Protective Systems in this country. I am sure there are many offices that do the job they are supposed to do.... but the one in my county...... has much to be desired.
Frustrated Grandmother feeling helpless in Arkansas. I agree about the CPS (actually it's DHS - Department of Human Services). Two years ago my then 3 year old niece told her mom that a family member touched her in her privates and a few other things. Our town's police investigated it but since this person didn't remember it, and my niece wouldn't talk to any one about it...the police and DHS discounted it. Then my daughter told a counselor who got the state police involved and this person pled quilty...it took a year later. This person was a repeat offender ( had molested one of my kids 17 years ago....my sis-in-law was clueless...apparently her hubby never told her and we thought she knew the reason why our kids were never allowed at the molestor's home without either my husband or I there at all times). My sis-in-law and I were told by the DA that this person would serve time and they would not plea bargin...guess what??? He plead out and...six years SUSPENDED sentence and was suppose to register as a sex offender...picture and all on the AR registry...last I checked...a week ago - he still hadn't. The sis in law gave up calling the DA's office about the registry...she just kept getting the run around with them. So Dr. Phil...not all CPS/DHS are as good as CA....I dealt with CA and they did investigate my child's claim and the DA prosecuted...first offense so it was counseling and community service...It was actually first documented offense...he didn't want it to come out that he had a history of it with female family members...which I didn't know until after the facts...guess you could say I married into a family with secrets that have now been exposed.
Disllusioned Auntie in AR |
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January 24, 2008, 4:13 pm PST
Quote From: achiever Note to Dr. Phil... I am a Grandmother who has been worried about my 5 year old granddaughter since she was about 5 months old. I have always thought her "father" and I use that term very loosely, has been sexually abusing her, as well as emotional and physical abuse. My granddaughter had demonstrated some disturbing actions and made statements that led me to believe she was being abused. My daughter is stuck in this very abusive relationship and she doesnt know what to do. Unfortunatley, I was in the same situation withe her father many years ago. My daughter was sexually mistreated by her stepfather and I didnt do anything. I have lived with that guilt for years now. I finally got my head on straight 7 years ago and now I see the error of the choices I made back then and how there are perpetuating through the generations. I am trying to stop that cycle with my granddaughter but I feel it is too late. The DHS has been out to my daughters house on more than a few occasions. I had to raise my granddaughter for 6 months because the father and the other grandmother, as well as my daughter were accused of physical abuse of my granddaughter. During the time she was with me, she shared many stories with me that I just couldn't take. I called DHS and shared with them what she had told me and I was told that unless my granddaughter explicitly stated she saw naked bodies there was nothing they could do. She was 4 at the time.... she new enough to tell me what she saw and what she was made to do with her other grandmother of all people.
So... when I hear you say that you just don't believe that Child Protective Services would not follow up on a complaint I have to disagree. This was in Arkansas and they said they would make sure that my call was documented but they did not see any cause for an investigation. Maybe you should do a show on the breakdown of this system in America. My daughter and the father both got off from the charge of abuse and I had to return my beautiful granddaughter back to them. She went from a very angry, uncontrollable, raging little 4 year old to a sweet little girl who said her prayers at night, flowering little girl in the 6 months I had her. I have since watched her return to the angry, frustrated little 5 year old that she is now.
Please Dr. Phil.... don't turn a blind eye the reality of the Child Protective Systems in this country. I am sure there are many offices that do the job they are supposed to do.... but the one in my county...... has much to be desired.
Frustrated Grandmother feeling helpless in Arkansas. Dr. Phil. i am a mother of two beautiful children. My son Caleb who is 4 and a daughter Riley who is 1. Caleb is by my x and let me tell you it has been a bad journey. His father lives in Kansas where we all used to live. Me and his father graduated high school in Arkansas together then moved to Kansas to attend college, meanwhile I got pregnant and had my son July, 14 2003. It was great but his father just acted like he didnt care about either one of us, so I packed our stuff adn moved back to Arkansas with my family. His father would rarely come and see him but gave me a hard time because his family lived in the same town I lived in and he wanted them to see him. So I agreed and let his mother visit every other weekend till things started going badly. I decided it was time to take it to court and let the judge set visitations. Of course his father got him 1 3 day weekend out of the month and of course his scheduled holidays and 3 two week intervals for summer visitations. Christmas time came and my son went out to his grandmothers with his father and cousins, aunts, and uncles. And I guess you could say everything was going fine. Januarary came and my son started getting errections not he is only 2 at this time. I took him to dr. after dr. and they sent him to urologist and they couldnt find out what was bothering him. It either was hurting him or scariing him because he cried everytime he got one which was 3 to 4 times a day. We took him to another dr. and she was suspicious because he didnt want her touching him or looking at him down there. She requested we send him to a therapist.She said he acted as if someone had messed with him but she wasnt exactly for sure. We took him to the therapist (psychiatrist) and of course I went in first while my son set in the waiting room with his aunt and I told her the problems we were having. Then I had to go out of the room and he came in and she had anatomical dolls to display after she got him used to her. She called me in and let him go back out and told me he had been sexually molested and she was 100% sure. So I lost it as any mother would do. I asked her if he asid any names and she said no that he was afraid but he did tell her it was a girl a young girl and that was it. I was in shock. I didnt know what to do I kinda knew or had a clue because there was a girl my son didnt like and would cry when she was mentioned and it never came to my mind but then it did. It was his fathers 11 year old neice. I kept my son in therapy and also kept him away from his father and he got better. The same year in May I got served with papers for contempt of court..Keeping my son away from his father. So I got my lawyer, we had the therapist testify in court. She told the judge everything about what he did to the anatomical dolls and everything. He could have cared less. He gave his father an extra week in the summer for my contempt meaning my 2 year old son went ot Kansas City for 3 weeks. His father told me he had a great job where he could take him to work with him everyday.. I called my son non stop and he was constantly crying. I had a bad feeling something was going on.. So one day I called his fathers house phone annonmously while I knew he was at work and his 11 year old neice answered the phone. I about hit the floor. His father was told in court by the judge, that until we found who was molesting him to keep all of his neices and nephews away. Of course that didnt happen and he never took my son to work with him either. He let his 11 year old neice babysit my son from 7 in the morning to 7 at night. Just them two... When my son came home he was a totally different child. Cryed over anything had anger issues and everything. He got home around 9 that night and the very next morning he had a therapy appointment. He told everything he said the neice made him do all kinds of things to her and she did things to him.. I could have KILLED her and the whole family. The therapist said he was threatened is why he didnt say any names before but she told him that he would be protected. So he told. She had to call DHS and they came to my house twice two different women she talked to us as a family then my son by himself he told her everything that the therapist had told me. So they go to the neices house which wasnt 30 minutes from my house. The mother refused to talk which is allowed, so they ruled the case unsubstaniated. They did NOTHING...Now my son is 4.. I have kept him away from his father again, ang again I got served with papers 1 day before a year.. He went a whole year and never talked to my son. I finally got my little boy back he was acting normal again the therapist discharged him as well, she thought he was doing amazing. Now were back to where we started my son has to go to his grandmothers every other weekend without any mionors being around and I did agree to that because what could go wrong she lived in the same town and it kept him from goint to Kansas City. Now the neice is there everytime my son is there and he is acting the same way he did before so I stopped her rights but his father gets his rights and they will not keep his neice away the courts said as long as they were supervised..That is crap. I dont know what to do Its feels like I am allowing it to happen but if I dont let my son go I could loose him to sorry excuse of a father and family forever. I love my son and would do anything for him..What do I do..The DHS and State Police will not do crap..I cant deal with this. I want to keep my kids safe and I need backup...The system is cruel to children my son done NOTHING to deserve this. |
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