Quote From: survivor43I know there's a common view of what a sexual fantasy is, but my view is different. That's why I posted my followup message after I realized I hadn't explained myself well.
So responding to your message, as I see it as a porn addict, (1) I agree that fantasies don't have to be acted out and clearly those that would endanger someone such as unprotected sex should never be acted out.
(2) Sexual fantasies are the driving force. You wrote "Once the sexual feeling passes, that thing is usually not in our minds, until the next time." But for sex addicts it's never out of our minds.
(3) When fantasies are acted out, they become stronger instead of weaker. You wrote "just do it then the drive won't be so strong and the fantasy is no longer a fantasy but reality and they can go on with their lives" Maybe that's true for normal people, but it's not true for sex addicts. Sex addicts re-live the experiences over and over in our minds and fantasize about going even further the next time.
kimikomine, to me there is no right or wrong answer here. You see things one way and I see things differently, based on who we are. And this just highlights more of the differences between a sex/porn addict and someone who is not.
I apologize for my ignorance. I now understand that a sex addict does not merely just "fantasize" but it is a driving force. Like drugs, right? A person that tries heroin might do it for one time "just to see" but if they like it and it brings a level of escape from the feelings, life, whatever is going on, they will do again. So in fact, if a person wants to just try it, then it is a one time deal vs. a person that does it one time, does it twice, three and four times, until its no longer a fantasy but a reality. So a sex addict would not be satisfied with a threesome one time.....I never thought of it that way.
Wow. I am sorry you are going through this. I was once addicted to drugs and I know how difficult it is to stop. I will keep you in my prayers and thank you for explaining in more detail. Kimi
