Replies to '12/08 Out-of-Control Husbands'

Hello firstly! I want to say this Cross logo is "SO BEAUTIFUL" an enlightening too.I am an artists of sorts,I found this so beautiful,Thanks for shareing it...

 "I am a fallen Angel" as is David B. I want to say secondily that "I am only here to share--just like everyone else is! I am NOT here to judge, or critise, or to be judge, or critised, THANK YOU!

I am NOT here offend anyone either! with my thoughts an feeling!" I am just shareing my thoughts an feelings like all of you are. Also for me this is a place I choose to share my life expierences in the hope of >"helping myself an others? in some way.<" Now lets move on.

I Was "UNFORTUNEATELY born into a family of,(Criminal outlaws,Runnagades and alcoholics!With legal an illegal drug users, as well as haveing at least 7,Pediphiles, yeah child rapeists,an Physical abusers in my family! even a few drug pushers an so on...>( MY LIFES JOURNEY HAS BEEN TRAGIC, AND A LONG HORRIBLE,and Mostly---A SCAREY RAOD FOR ME! to say the LEAST<!) It Is "FULL OF MONSTERS!, AND EVIL PEOLPES CONSTANTILY!"

 MY LIFES STORIES "WOULD CURL  YOUR TOW NAILS!" No I AM NOT PROUD ABOUT THIS FACT)<... For me, Liveing with all the "NIGHTMARES on a daily basis!" is to say the least                >> a BIG CHALLENGE to accomplish at times.There are days when "Sometimes it minute by minute". However I am doing "my very best to get threw ( WITHOUT ANY HELP!)FROM ANYONE! Save this website,Doctor Phil,and fineally, my prayers...

 I have many, a many, a time "reached out for help threw the years" many a times " >>Only to be thrown to the wolfs AGAIN!"<< Then I too ( I began seeking help threw variouse agencies by myself--at 13,years old, Why? because "I KNEW----------things were SO MANY WRONG THINGS GOING ON AT HOME<an In my LIFE as it is.)However of the group counsers,of the one to one theraphists, an even the psychologists,None seemed to fit,or even qualify! All because they all had HIDDEN AGENDS of there own,Some were agendas to get down my 13 year old pants!O yeah they were MANY to. Yeah they seem to come a dime a dozen! From  my scholl,to my church to my Rehabs an counslers! rehabs of both kinds! You Know--- the ones were (boys an girls are put together) or where (they are seperate), Well it did not matter (I seemed to end up with theses creep! In  my path of life??? Weather they were "MALE OR FEMALE didnt matter" they were THERE!goinmg after me with there hidden agends! Once after coming out of jail, (Remember I DID NOT CHOOSES MY PARENTS! Thank you.) I had choose to go to rehab,( I new I wanted some help) This time, I was only 18, well after about aweek of entery work,(The third floor program) was the name of the rehab, After only a week one of entery level work there was this black counsler,who came into my room to verbally, an physically assult me!YES HE DID! an he did!" He did it by busting threw the door! to my shared room (The male counslers were NOT SUPPOSE TO BE IN THE FEMALES WING WITHOUT PERMISSION!) yet he came to our wing,then to our door! the he busted down our door (from what I gathered form his heated rage an angery words were this ("it was because of his FALSE ego trip he was on! he spit out something like this (Why are'nt you in my gestalt group!"SPIT" no one miss's my group!Spit, all the while he was >"throwing my body across the room! from the tremendouse amount of pressure he had pushed against our door!a door (Which I just happenned to be standing very near)as he blew threw it! without warninig into our room! (ALso you need to know, I was told I did by my counsler at this time too( That I WAS NOT SUPPOSE TO ATTEND THESE GESTALT GROUP SESSIONS) because (my counseler thought they would do more harm then good to me.)  Yet this huge, black counsler "busted threw the door an assulted me!" Yeah I was devastated! an he was fired by the end of the day, so now FEAR had entered my life again in the form of yet another 'STRAGER". Of course that evening "I ran far,and fast!"  from this rehab. One of many "I had TRIED TO GAIN HELP AN SUPPORT FROM". >>>To my dismay! this act would end up "Costing me a three year sentence! in two! of Californias WORST PRISONS!

 "Yet AGAIN I WAS THROWN TO THE WOLFS, throwen to the CORRUPTION OF THE PRISON SYSTEMS!" >>>NOT EVEN YOUR FRIENDILY TELEVISION CAN EXSPRESS LIFE IN PRISON<<<( I NEVER SAW THIS ONE COMING EITHER!,"GOD WAS IT HARD!!!!" (Just so your informed correctily about ME! I WAS A GREAT KID! (ALL THINGS CONSIDERED!) I was A student, a great friend,a faithful daughter too! and now even at this time in my life I had >>>NO Criminal RECORDS OF ANY SORTS!<<<.  I HAD NO! JUVINILE OR CHILDHOOD INCIDENTS WITH THE LAW either,or ANYONE! for that matter either.  I WAS A GOOD GIRL! Who was a child,a young adult who UNFORTUNEATLY, "FORCED INTO BEING SEXUALLY ASSUALTED by thoses 7,FAMILY members" a HARD START INTO THIS LIFE of mine.. Then again I was forced from home at 13,(THANK YOU CPS!)You CREEPS!)From here I was "FORCED into POVERTY AN HAD TO LIVE ON THE STREETS AT THE TENDER AGE OF 15,threw to about 18!)" Leearning FAST WHAT LIFE AN SURVIVEAL  MEANT to  such a young lady.  YES! "IT IS ALL TO TRAGIC too AWFUL! too HEART an SPIRIT WRENCHING! to HAVE TO OF LIVED THIS! Yet its VERY REAL<AN My story. I know for all you outthere in siberspace as well as (For MOST PEOPLE TO EVEN BELIEVE! Such things could happen is unreal to you!) Even so---- "ITS MY LIFE! My STORY! MY AWFUL REALITY!)" I have hade to bear, "I SUFFERED SOME OF THE MOST HORRIBLE TIMES,during an even AFTER THESES YOUNG TENDER YEARS of mY LIFE,Somehow?" I have MADE IT TO TODAY???? I want to mention again the "third floor program and the fact that I had choose to run,Because "I am here today to say >(ITS NOT AT ALL EASY!--NOt AT ALL EASY as SOME OF YOU BELIEVE LIFE IS! ITS NOT AT ALL EASY TO FIND A MATCH OR EVEN TO GET THE PROPER HELP one is seeking to gain for them slef, ITS HARD,HARD,HARD!) I KNOW THIS AS FACT. I HAVE BEEN AN STILL AM THERE! Always finding the "right Person,or persons" is hard. "So--- my Friend" >>>TRY TO REMEMBER<<( >>"Its NOT ALWAYS EASY<OR A SWEET JOURNEY TO GAIN WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY YOURS!) its NOT always easy either! >>to FIND THE RIGHT PROGRAM ,Theraphists, counslers, or even friends,TO HELP EITHER! WHY? BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE! THEY FAIL US AT TIMES, plus (THERE ARE A LOT OF FALSE,SICK INDIVIDULES OUTTHERE!DOIN MORE HURT THE HELP to peoples seeking a better way! They are DECIETFUL,CREEPY People in theses rehabs too,and all over these self help and legal business,and rehabs too,whichare SUPPOSE TO BE LEGAL AND JUST AND LOVEING AND KING AN SUPPORTIVE,THEY ARE FRAUDS,RAPEISTS,AND MEAN PEOPLES! WITH HIDDEN AGENDA!  "WHOM ONLY AGENDA IS THERE OWN!" ITS SAD. Yeah I just had to say this.. I to have been seeking help for the "Scars I have from my childhood,from my youth,and even form parts of my present life" Its VERY,VERY HARD LONG ROAD,to get to where we WANT TO GET" TO GET THREW WHAT WE MUST TO GAIN>WHAT WE FEEL IS OUR,HAPPINESS,OUR PEACE OR SILENT VITORIES FOR OUR FAMILY FOR OUR SELFS! "ITS A HARD THIN RAOD alright"..

Just like >>>HAPPINESS TURELY IS<<<its something we WORK HARD FOR..

 I guess I am done now. NOTHING WORTH HAVEING IS FREE. I give CREDIT TO DAVID, HAPPINESS IS ALSO WORKED FOR in our lifes,May we all find the "Proper person or persons to help aid us all in our quests for the better,good life,free of what ever our demons are,May we all LEARN THAT WE ARE NOT HERE TO BE ABUSED BY ANYONE!EVER IN ANY SHAPE OR FORM <MAY WE ALL FIND THE LIGHT AT THE ENDS OF EACH OF  OUR JOURNEYS TOO."Sincerly still struggleing the Northern Lady.Good day,HAppy Holidays too...