Quote From: hnybz25What a relief to find out I'm not the only one!! I have been afraid of throw up (someone else doing it or myself) for as long as I can remember and for years I have hidden it because of the shame and embarrasment. My entire social life in grammar school was destroyed because of this fear. I would prop books up all over the group table because I was afraid that someone would get sick. I remember the teacher talking to my mom about it because I was hurting other kids' feelings. I have quit daycare jobs because of my fear and I put off having children because of it. This is something I never admitted to anyone until recently for fear that people would laugh at me or think I'm terrible. It does help to talk to good friends and Prozac is great. When I was medicated my daughter got sick and my heart actually didn't feel like it was going to leap out of my chest! It is easier now that she's older because I hand her a bowl. She's very good about getting it in the bowl and it eases my loss of control feelings a little. Now, however, I am pregnant and stopped taking the medicine for fear of harming the baby. I am doing fine so far, but am dreading the winter season. I refuse to share drinks with my family and I keep the sanitary gel and antibacterial wipes in business. I will keep checking this message board, it helps greatly with my anxiety!
I know mine is out of control. When my oldest son was in daycare i went to pick him up and found out another child had gotten sick in the room earlier that day, when we got home i made him stand outside with a towel on his face and sprayed him with lysol and then had him strip and then put him in the bath tub, thinking i could spray and wash all those germs off of him. To me it worked he did not get sick but it did not stop me from going into a panic for the next 3 days. I know i was wrong but could not stop thinking that i was going to be the next one to get it. It has gotten so bad that the kids are afraid to tell me when they don't feel well. I have slept out in our garage to get away from the germs. I have had to have friends come over and help me while my husband was gone. My heart races, I pace and cry and act like a complete idiot. I am terrified to be around my family or anyone else for that matter. When i finally realized it was getting more and more out of control was when i lost so much weight. In less than a year i went from 122 pounds down to 97 pounds. We had the stomach bug going around bad, and like she said "if I on't eat I wont get sick". Everyone else caught it but me, and i think it just feeds my fear more!!!!! I am in fear of the colder months!!!
