Replies to '12/04 Heroin Twins: The Intervention, Part 3'
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December 4, 2006, 3:23 pm PST
 Quote From: shelleyhg Boy I'm am really getting tired of hearing young and old people blaming others for the choices they make be it good ones or bad. I don't know any one that had a " perfect childhood" I know I sure didn't I was sexually abused by a close relative but I never went to drugs or alcohol no I went on to make hard decisions in my life at 18 I ended up pregnant not married so in the 60's that was a no no so I thought long and hard to give her to a loving family. We are since reunited and only to find out her life was a fairy tale I'd thought she would have Thank God we now have each other and her 5 beautiful children and to the bastard she married he's in " a program" for spousal abuse what a crack that is he hit her and the kids broke her arm 2 months after giving birth to number 5. 2 months after that he stabbed her with a fork and blacken both eyes all with her in a full cast holding a 2 month old baby. As we are dealing with the after affects he's all comfy cozy in his rehab and out in under 10 months demanding his rights to see his kids 1 day a week. He hit them as well but because of deal making his 10 yr. felony was knocked down to 5 months in a country club. My daughter gets 1,000.00 a month from the state her rent for a 2 bedroom condo is 1400.00 guess who has to pick up the rest and only 500.00 in food stamps we live in CA and the cost of living is so high. Between running the kids to counseling and school and to the courts with gas at what it is you can guess what isn't being done for the true victims here. Now on to the drugs GIVE ME A BREAK PLEASE I had my right arm ground off in a meat grinder in 76 but did I make the choice to sit back and say oh poor me .hell no I got married to a wonderful man helped him raise his 5 children and we were married to Christmas Day 1997 when he died at the foot of our bed in a massive heart attack and even then I never went to drugs or blame. To this day I am disabled by a nerve disease that is very painful and I do need lots of pain medication to make it possible for me to do the things that need to be done. I should take 6 pills for pain a day but hey I have kids to feed clean up after and watch over so I stay in pain till they go to bed then I take my medication again no blame game things happen get over it I don't see Dr. Phil helping 5 young kids get over seeing their Mom hit many times by their Dad or the fact the the oldest at age 9 has already been kicked out of 1 school we are trying to do the best we can tell them they are loved and they can do anything and that they are special and none of this was there fault. CHOOSE PEOPLE WE HAVE FREE WILL MAKE THE RIGHT CHOSE.......CHOSE YOU CHILDREN CHOSE LOVE NOT BLAME CHOSE YOURSELF MICHELLE Michelle... I could not agree w/you more in regard to the trend that our society seems to have adopted when it comes to taking responsibilty for our actions. I am under the impression that Dr. Phil feels that the stepfather of the twins should accept at least some of the responsibilty for the path that they chose. Quite frankly...I was surprised by this, as there are many abandoned children in this world who did not choose the path that they travelled. Furthermore...I really cannot find any circumstance that justifies injecting toxic substances into a perfectly healthy body or prostituting oneself to pay for it! Personally...I do not feel that the stepfather should be held responsible for any of their very, very poor choices. The reason for my response to your particular post; however, are the circumstances surrounding your daughter & the choices that SHE made. While her situation is far & away from that of the twins...I find that your position regarding your daughter & grandchildren warrants the same consideration that you gave to the twins' stepfather. Your daughter chose to marry an abuser. Worse yet...she chose to bring 5 (NOT 1 or 2) innocent 'victims', as you describe them, into this world! She also chooses to live in an area that is known for it's 'high cost of living' issues. Now...your position appears to be that she is not receiving enough from the 'State' ~ might I add...in the form of hand-outs for choices that SHE made! Are you saying that the good citizens of California are responsible for your daughter's actions/choices...but the stepfather of the twins has no responsibilty in regard to their plight? As per your message, it is my understanding that you are assisting in the care of your 5 grandchildren? Therefore, your daughter has not only held the California taxpayers responsible for her actions...she is holding you responsible, as well. Moreover, what about holding the father of your grandchildren responsible for their care? Yes, I also agree w/you when you speak of free will. But...tell me...does this also not apply to your daughter? Dana. |
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December 4, 2006, 3:40 pm PST
Quote From: shelleyhg Boy I'm am really getting tired of hearing young and old people blaming others for the choices they make be it good ones or bad. I don't know any one that had a " perfect childhood" I know I sure didn't I was sexually abused by a close relative but I never went to drugs or alcohol no I went on to make hard decisions in my life at 18 I ended up pregnant not married so in the 60's that was a no no so I thought long and hard to give her to a loving family. We are since reunited and only to find out her life was a fairy tale I'd thought she would have Thank God we now have each other and her 5 beautiful children and to the bastard she married he's in " a program" for spousal abuse what a crack that is he hit her and the kids broke her arm 2 months after giving birth to number 5. 2 months after that he stabbed her with a fork and blacken both eyes all with her in a full cast holding a 2 month old baby. As we are dealing with the after affects he's all comfy cozy in his rehab and out in under 10 months demanding his rights to see his kids 1 day a week. He hit them as well but because of deal making his 10 yr. felony was knocked down to 5 months in a country club. My daughter gets 1,000.00 a month from the state her rent for a 2 bedroom condo is 1400.00 guess who has to pick up the rest and only 500.00 in food stamps we live in CA and the cost of living is so high. Between running the kids to counseling and school and to the courts with gas at what it is you can guess what isn't being done for the true victims here. Now on to the drugs GIVE ME A BREAK PLEASE I had my right arm ground off in a meat grinder in 76 but did I make the choice to sit back and say oh poor me .hell no I got married to a wonderful man helped him raise his 5 children and we were married to Christmas Day 1997 when he died at the foot of our bed in a massive heart attack and even then I never went to drugs or blame. To this day I am disabled by a nerve disease that is very painful and I do need lots of pain medication to make it possible for me to do the things that need to be done. I should take 6 pills for pain a day but hey I have kids to feed clean up after and watch over so I stay in pain till they go to bed then I take my medication again no blame game things happen get over it I don't see Dr. Phil helping 5 young kids get over seeing their Mom hit many times by their Dad or the fact the the oldest at age 9 has already been kicked out of 1 school we are trying to do the best we can tell them they are loved and they can do anything and that they are special and none of this was there fault. CHOOSE PEOPLE WE HAVE FREE WILL MAKE THE RIGHT CHOSE.......CHOSE YOU CHILDREN CHOSE LOVE NOT BLAME CHOSE YOURSELF MICHELLE Everyone handles stressful & painful situations differently. Some of us handle these things very well but it is not that easy for all people, and we should not expect it to be. |
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December 4, 2006, 6:53 pm PST
Quote From: shelleyhg Boy I'm am really getting tired of hearing young and old people blaming others for the choices they make be it good ones or bad. I don't know any one that had a " perfect childhood" I know I sure didn't I was sexually abused by a close relative but I never went to drugs or alcohol no I went on to make hard decisions in my life at 18 I ended up pregnant not married so in the 60's that was a no no so I thought long and hard to give her to a loving family. We are since reunited and only to find out her life was a fairy tale I'd thought she would have Thank God we now have each other and her 5 beautiful children and to the bastard she married he's in " a program" for spousal abuse what a crack that is he hit her and the kids broke her arm 2 months after giving birth to number 5. 2 months after that he stabbed her with a fork and blacken both eyes all with her in a full cast holding a 2 month old baby. As we are dealing with the after affects he's all comfy cozy in his rehab and out in under 10 months demanding his rights to see his kids 1 day a week. He hit them as well but because of deal making his 10 yr. felony was knocked down to 5 months in a country club. My daughter gets 1,000.00 a month from the state her rent for a 2 bedroom condo is 1400.00 guess who has to pick up the rest and only 500.00 in food stamps we live in CA and the cost of living is so high. Between running the kids to counseling and school and to the courts with gas at what it is you can guess what isn't being done for the true victims here. Now on to the drugs GIVE ME A BREAK PLEASE I had my right arm ground off in a meat grinder in 76 but did I make the choice to sit back and say oh poor me .hell no I got married to a wonderful man helped him raise his 5 children and we were married to Christmas Day 1997 when he died at the foot of our bed in a massive heart attack and even then I never went to drugs or blame. To this day I am disabled by a nerve disease that is very painful and I do need lots of pain medication to make it possible for me to do the things that need to be done. I should take 6 pills for pain a day but hey I have kids to feed clean up after and watch over so I stay in pain till they go to bed then I take my medication again no blame game things happen get over it I don't see Dr. Phil helping 5 young kids get over seeing their Mom hit many times by their Dad or the fact the the oldest at age 9 has already been kicked out of 1 school we are trying to do the best we can tell them they are loved and they can do anything and that they are special and none of this was there fault. CHOOSE PEOPLE WE HAVE FREE WILL MAKE THE RIGHT CHOSE.......CHOSE YOU CHILDREN CHOSE LOVE NOT BLAME CHOSE YOURSELF MICHELLE I know that you always hear of addicts wanting to blame others, but for most addicts there has been some sort of trauma in their life that has attributed to their use. My brother-in-law, father of three kids, was a meth user who has been clean for a couple of months. Nobody really knows what this puts a family through until you are there. As for your daughter, I feel bad that she was abused by her partner and the father of her kids, but she made a choice to not only stay with him but also to have as many children as she did. Do people think that after the first time a spouse hits that will be the last? Most of the time that is just the first sign that there is more to come, but your daughter stayed and had more children and now she is on assistance which is funded by taxpayers. Don't you think that maybe after the first two and he was abusive that maybe she should have not had anymore with this guy? As far as his sentence, that is the good ole justice system today. |
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December 5, 2006, 6:01 pm PST
Quote From: shelleyhg Boy I'm am really getting tired of hearing young and old people blaming others for the choices they make be it good ones or bad. I don't know any one that had a " perfect childhood" I know I sure didn't I was sexually abused by a close relative but I never went to drugs or alcohol no I went on to make hard decisions in my life at 18 I ended up pregnant not married so in the 60's that was a no no so I thought long and hard to give her to a loving family. We are since reunited and only to find out her life was a fairy tale I'd thought she would have Thank God we now have each other and her 5 beautiful children and to the bastard she married he's in " a program" for spousal abuse what a crack that is he hit her and the kids broke her arm 2 months after giving birth to number 5. 2 months after that he stabbed her with a fork and blacken both eyes all with her in a full cast holding a 2 month old baby. As we are dealing with the after affects he's all comfy cozy in his rehab and out in under 10 months demanding his rights to see his kids 1 day a week. He hit them as well but because of deal making his 10 yr. felony was knocked down to 5 months in a country club. My daughter gets 1,000.00 a month from the state her rent for a 2 bedroom condo is 1400.00 guess who has to pick up the rest and only 500.00 in food stamps we live in CA and the cost of living is so high. Between running the kids to counseling and school and to the courts with gas at what it is you can guess what isn't being done for the true victims here. Now on to the drugs GIVE ME A BREAK PLEASE I had my right arm ground off in a meat grinder in 76 but did I make the choice to sit back and say oh poor me .hell no I got married to a wonderful man helped him raise his 5 children and we were married to Christmas Day 1997 when he died at the foot of our bed in a massive heart attack and even then I never went to drugs or blame. To this day I am disabled by a nerve disease that is very painful and I do need lots of pain medication to make it possible for me to do the things that need to be done. I should take 6 pills for pain a day but hey I have kids to feed clean up after and watch over so I stay in pain till they go to bed then I take my medication again no blame game things happen get over it I don't see Dr. Phil helping 5 young kids get over seeing their Mom hit many times by their Dad or the fact the the oldest at age 9 has already been kicked out of 1 school we are trying to do the best we can tell them they are loved and they can do anything and that they are special and none of this was there fault. CHOOSE PEOPLE WE HAVE FREE WILL MAKE THE RIGHT CHOSE.......CHOSE YOU CHILDREN CHOSE LOVE NOT BLAME CHOSE YOURSELF MICHELLE How sad is your negative attitude. We are all dealt our hands and it is how we play our cards. No one individual is perfect, nor is their lives but it is the responsibility that we take that builds our strengths. You may not have gotten into drugs but, you definetly are on a bitter road. Everybody handles their pains differently, some people are resilient and some are not. I wish you and you daughter the best, abusive relationships are not easy. I was there also so I empathize. I also wish the twins the best of luck. I am following the story and my heart is with you both! :) |
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December 8, 2006, 12:17 am PST
Quote From: shelleyhg Boy I'm am really getting tired of hearing young and old people blaming others for the choices they make be it good ones or bad. I don't know any one that had a " perfect childhood" I know I sure didn't I was sexually abused by a close relative but I never went to drugs or alcohol no I went on to make hard decisions in my life at 18 I ended up pregnant not married so in the 60's that was a no no so I thought long and hard to give her to a loving family. We are since reunited and only to find out her life was a fairy tale I'd thought she would have Thank God we now have each other and her 5 beautiful children and to the bastard she married he's in " a program" for spousal abuse what a crack that is he hit her and the kids broke her arm 2 months after giving birth to number 5. 2 months after that he stabbed her with a fork and blacken both eyes all with her in a full cast holding a 2 month old baby. As we are dealing with the after affects he's all comfy cozy in his rehab and out in under 10 months demanding his rights to see his kids 1 day a week. He hit them as well but because of deal making his 10 yr. felony was knocked down to 5 months in a country club. My daughter gets 1,000.00 a month from the state her rent for a 2 bedroom condo is 1400.00 guess who has to pick up the rest and only 500.00 in food stamps we live in CA and the cost of living is so high. Between running the kids to counseling and school and to the courts with gas at what it is you can guess what isn't being done for the true victims here. Now on to the drugs GIVE ME A BREAK PLEASE I had my right arm ground off in a meat grinder in 76 but did I make the choice to sit back and say oh poor me .hell no I got married to a wonderful man helped him raise his 5 children and we were married to Christmas Day 1997 when he died at the foot of our bed in a massive heart attack and even then I never went to drugs or blame. To this day I am disabled by a nerve disease that is very painful and I do need lots of pain medication to make it possible for me to do the things that need to be done. I should take 6 pills for pain a day but hey I have kids to feed clean up after and watch over so I stay in pain till they go to bed then I take my medication again no blame game things happen get over it I don't see Dr. Phil helping 5 young kids get over seeing their Mom hit many times by their Dad or the fact the the oldest at age 9 has already been kicked out of 1 school we are trying to do the best we can tell them they are loved and they can do anything and that they are special and none of this was there fault. CHOOSE PEOPLE WE HAVE FREE WILL MAKE THE RIGHT CHOSE.......CHOSE YOU CHILDREN CHOSE LOVE NOT BLAME CHOSE YOURSELF MICHELLE You say 9 years old and kicked out of one school ALREADY? I say you need to buy the transcripts of all of the shows about the twins. Because he is heading in that direction of the twins and so many others. You are feeling sorry for your daughter whom YOU obviously never taught about birth control. I had a sister who was sexually abused by a close relative and never went to drugs or alcohol, got pregnant and married then divorced, and raised her 2 children NOT by receiving, as i take it, ONLY $1,000.00 a month from the state and $500.00 in FOOD STAMPS. What do you think she deserves? $1000.00 for each child. Please, birth control would have been a lot cheaper and life a lot easier or did she have to have 5 children to get that much? $200.00 per child, she only needs to have 2 more children to have the state cover the rent. 7 children X $200.00= $1400.00. Hello...... get off your ass and get a job or 2 if that's what it takes. You don't need Dr. Phil helping 5 young children get over anything. You have insurance through the state to take care of that also. You don't need to be in the spotlight playing poor me to get those children help. If you were on Dr. Phil he would tear you guys apart and the skeletons would be falling out of the closets everywhere. You would have to make a path to get off of the stage after 50-60 years of bones piled on that stage. By the way, been in the same type of relationship as your daughter my second time around but guess what? I got out and I worked took birth control for years and raised my only son who went through many of his own hard times in 22 years including the passing of his father at when he was 17. You know what you remind me of "The alcoholic that sits on the bar stool 7 days a week and talks about the no good drug addict." One is no different than the other. People like you disgust me. Why don't you let all of your skeletons out of the closet? Michelle, you need intense therapy. By the way my mother had me in 1964, kept me, got a job and raised me NEVER thought about giving me away because as you put "That was a big no no in the 60's." You didn't think long and hard you just did it because you didn't want your daughter or the responsibility at that time. Through the years you felt guilty about your choice and try to make it up now. I am an empathetic person to all situatons in life whether or not I have experienced them. I am going to give you a taste of your own medicine and maybe you will think twice the next time you reply to a message in the way you did considering you have never been through an alcohol, crack, meth, or heroin addiction, I am assuming, with a loved one such as one of your step-children, step- grandchildren, daughter or grandchildren, brother, sister, niece, or nephew. If you have watched the episodes with the twin sister addicted to heroin and post message you have not heart as a parent or human being. As per your quote "GIVE ME A BREAK PLEASE" not this time. You have a lot of guilt, anger and resentment starting back when you were a child and were sexually abused to getting pregnant, giving you daughter away, losing your arm, your health and losing your husband and who knows what else. Maybe you didnt do the drugs, etc. but you have not dealt with it or you wouldn't be so angry with life. Most parents would give their right arm for their child you just did it a little later in life and oh yes you do feel like "oh poor me" or you wouldn't have brought it up. You deserve an award you raised 5 children to another man with one arm but couldn't raise one of your own with two arms. Neuropathy, family members with that too and they rarely mention it and go to work everyday (my father at 62) So I take it your having the state take care of you also. You sound like you have hidden resentment: " having kids to feed clean up after and watch over" come on GRAM that's what loving parents and grandparents do when help is needed. You brought a side of me out that never existed until i read you message and believe me this is the first time I have ever replied to any message online but I had to. I would really like to hear from you in a few years. Just to see if you are still living in the drug free world. You have 5 grandchildren, well guess what you can raise them all the same and can still have that 1 or 2 and sometimes all 5 turn out to be a gambling, sex, shopping, drug addict, or an alcoholic. You just never know. I have seen it in many families. Don't throw stones for any reason when you live in a glass house. I hope you never go throught it because you will eat every word you said unless you live in denial like so many do. You have quite a large family for it to have turned out with not one addict. God Bless You...... You should have written a book on parenting, made millions and paid your daughter's rent. Good Luck in life, I wish your family the best and please get some intense counseling. Only YOU can make that CHOICE. Lisa |
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December 11, 2006, 7:02 pm PST
Quote From: shelleyhg Boy I'm am really getting tired of hearing young and old people blaming others for the choices they make be it good ones or bad. I don't know any one that had a " perfect childhood" I know I sure didn't I was sexually abused by a close relative but I never went to drugs or alcohol no I went on to make hard decisions in my life at 18 I ended up pregnant not married so in the 60's that was a no no so I thought long and hard to give her to a loving family. We are since reunited and only to find out her life was a fairy tale I'd thought she would have Thank God we now have each other and her 5 beautiful children and to the bastard she married he's in " a program" for spousal abuse what a crack that is he hit her and the kids broke her arm 2 months after giving birth to number 5. 2 months after that he stabbed her with a fork and blacken both eyes all with her in a full cast holding a 2 month old baby. As we are dealing with the after affects he's all comfy cozy in his rehab and out in under 10 months demanding his rights to see his kids 1 day a week. He hit them as well but because of deal making his 10 yr. felony was knocked down to 5 months in a country club. My daughter gets 1,000.00 a month from the state her rent for a 2 bedroom condo is 1400.00 guess who has to pick up the rest and only 500.00 in food stamps we live in CA and the cost of living is so high. Between running the kids to counseling and school and to the courts with gas at what it is you can guess what isn't being done for the true victims here. Now on to the drugs GIVE ME A BREAK PLEASE I had my right arm ground off in a meat grinder in 76 but did I make the choice to sit back and say oh poor me .hell no I got married to a wonderful man helped him raise his 5 children and we were married to Christmas Day 1997 when he died at the foot of our bed in a massive heart attack and even then I never went to drugs or blame. To this day I am disabled by a nerve disease that is very painful and I do need lots of pain medication to make it possible for me to do the things that need to be done. I should take 6 pills for pain a day but hey I have kids to feed clean up after and watch over so I stay in pain till they go to bed then I take my medication again no blame game things happen get over it I don't see Dr. Phil helping 5 young kids get over seeing their Mom hit many times by their Dad or the fact the the oldest at age 9 has already been kicked out of 1 school we are trying to do the best we can tell them they are loved and they can do anything and that they are special and none of this was there fault. CHOOSE PEOPLE WE HAVE FREE WILL MAKE THE RIGHT CHOSE.......CHOSE YOU CHILDREN CHOSE LOVE NOT BLAME CHOSE YOURSELF MICHELLE I must admit that part of me agrees that blaming others for your problems can sometimes be a psycho cop out because we are all adults, and a lot of us had one or both parents let us down, abandon us, or some other form of neglect, but not all turn to drugs. There are other ways to cope such as church, God, and "loving friends". Don't get me wrong I also know everyone makes bad judgments at one time or another.
My MAIN REASON FOR REPLYING TO THIS MESSAGE is to rag on the twins dad and step-mom. I couldn't help but notice that his "wife" did most of the talking. That got me to wondering if he was a man or mouse. I had to agree with the twin (I can't remember which one it was) who said that he was "hen pecked" for a nicer word. I understand their feelings about their biological daughter to an extent, but her (the wife) putting her 2 cents worth in was just wrong. When he adopted those girls he by all purposes took on ALL the responsibilities of being their biological father. I wonder if he is gonna do the same thing to his biological daughter if this happens to her. (It can happen to Anyone, No one is immune).
Anyway, Sarah and Tecoa, in my book, you're better off without him if he can't stand up for what's right. I put him up there even below a "deadbeat dad".
Good luck with your treatments. I will continually pray for your recoveries Patti |
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