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Replies to '12/04 Heroin Twins: The Intervention, Part 3'
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December 8, 2006, 11:51 am PST
 Quote From: kimberly77 Hi I am an addict..I have struggled with addiction for 14 yrs...I can tell you from an addicts point of view that all the love in the world will not stop us for using...I had and still have the most supportive family who thank God have not gave up on me...but the hard truth is you have to want to change..I have been clean from herion now for over two years...I went on the methadone program...I decided a year into that I wanted off...and within 6 weeks I was off methadone...and have been for a year...I refuse to a herion junkie again...But again it was my choice... Your brother has to want to get clean, all you can do is be supportive, let him know you care, this is my opionon of course...my family didnt shut me out and I am glad they didnt cause I probably woundnt be writing this if they had,...I still smoke crack cocaine and inject cocaine not everyday but at least 3-4 times a week.......and its a rush...it numbs you...nothing matters but getting that next rock or fix,,,,but everyone around me knows the signs...which are moody, disappearing for hours or days, or spending to much time in the bathroom, always needing a lighter, spoons that are bent..black on the bottom, your pupils go huge, you cant sit still, your body is racing....and the come down sucks...you feel lost, lonely, empty, you want that rush so bad it can make you say and do mean things to people especially the ones you love the most cause they will usually always take it from us..makes you wonder why after your down why you would want to do it all over again... We lie, we steal, we do what we have to, to get drugs, we make up stories that sound great to us but make no sense to someone else...we play on people emotions, weakness, thats what addicts do. We lie about where are money has gone...say we spent it on things that we dont have...lent it to people..and never get it back...And Blame other people for are using...we always can find an excuse to use. I am over the blame part...I know now that everything I do is cause I want to...its all about choices and yes I am still making wrong ones but its getting better... There are lots of support groups around...for people affected by others addictions...you probably could find one on here. Hope things change for the better for you.,,,, Hi,
I wish I could tell you how much your family loves you and how much they want you to be clean. Every waking hour I think about my brother and wonder when it is he will realize that the past is the past and that every minute he has that he is alive is very precious to us, his children. We would miss him soooo very much if he died.
Just the fact that you are writing shows that you have a good heart and are a very special person. You may doubt that, but I know that you are. I wish I had the magic words for both you and my brother, but I don't.
He tells me that with meetings, sponsors and support he can stop. He says he's not addicted and he sounds so convincing that we believe him!
Why wouldn't a person "want to stop"? Help me understand. Why wouldn't you "want to"? Why wouldn't you want thing to change for the better for you too? Were you born in 77? I have a son that was born in 77. Please feel my support for you and please know that I will pray just as hard for you and your family , as I will for my brother. |
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