Replies to '03/23 Homework Hell'

 I do not think other people should judge parents who get fustrated over homework issues without knowing what's going on.. 

When Julia first started school, I allowed her to play for  about  45 minutes after school, then she was to start her homework.  That didn't work for us.  She would want to play and not start her work at all.  So, I went for completing her homework right after school.  I am still having problems getting to even start the homowrk process.  Julia is smart, and it's fustrating that she doesn't allow herself to show how smart she is.  I get fustrated with her because she never wants to complete ANY TASKS.  I mean any!  Homework, chores, classwork, help with something as siple as getting something for me, all these things she manipulates herself out of doing.  Brilliant, yes she is.  She's the only 11  year old I know that can manipulate an adult.   And let me explain something to you, She has problems that have been addressed, it is her personalitly that allows her to act stupid and remain stupid.  I say this because she has been informed by several people that because she isn't showing her true potential, others wil judge her as she gets older as stupid.  And you and I know that is true.  My daughter isn't stupid, she just acts it.  I hate it when she does that.  It fustrates me because I know she is so much more than that.  I think that's why parents call their kids stupid, not because they really think they are, it's because the kids mask how smart they really are, and the parents get fustrated at them.  I'm not saying it's right, I am just explaining why I think it happens.  And that's why others should not be so quick to judge.  I can teach all my other children and help them with homework no problem.  Julia is just manipulaing and headstrong.  Julia does what she wants, even when I put my foot down.  She doesn't care if you punish her or take things away. She's not interested in award or rewards.  I do get help with her, but even the professional have problems getting Julia motovated.  So, it's not just me.  I donot nitpick her.  I do explain to her that if she has problems not understanding something, to complete whatever is easy first, then I will try to help her.  When I try to help her, she shuts down, whines, doesn't pay attention, etc.  I get fustrated with her so easily.  She doesn't even to to act like she's paying attention.  She doesn't show interest in what she's supposed to learn.

Do you think it should take an 11 year old 2 and a half hours to write 10 spelling words 10 times each?  Let me tell you, she comes home with first grade words, like cat and bat.  So I think she should be done within 15-20 min. 

Julia is in Special Education because she doesn't show her true potential.  She has a Behavior Specialist, a TSS worker, a therapist, so the help is there, she refuses to use the resources she has available. 

Oh yeah, we have tried putting her on meds, but she decided she didn't want to take them, so she talked with a friend about it.  Her friend taught her how to vomit her meds.  When I found out, I started putting it in her foods and drink, but she would sometimes give her little borthers or sister her food or drink.  So, I couldn't do that anymore. 

I am not the type of person that expects her to get all a's.  I expect her to try her best.  I do not think other people should judge parents who get fustrated over homework issues without knowing what's going on..