Replies to '12/08 Out-of-Control Husbands'

i was married to my son's father for almost 7 years. i thought he was pretty even tempered until the first time i saw my 'introductury' temper tantrum just prior to our wedding day. he seemed to get along in life just fine. then the day would come about where something would happen, and it was the straw that broke the camel's back. he would blow up so much so that i was literally scared for my life, even more so after the birth of my son. my ex-husband would put his fist though walls, closet doors, tear phone books apart so easily as if it was just a piece of paper, he would pound counter tops, scream into my ears, and then wrap this wonderful package with the worse of all words that a man can call his wife. he said that he believed that calling me these disgusting words would get my attention. he was verbally abusive to the highest extent. he always had my attention, he just did not look to see that it was there. in the end though he really got the my complete, and absolute attention; after all that i went through this with him - DIVORCE. he was so upset, and very sad. sure, i was too, i was in this marriage for the long haul, yet because i get up being abused which he knew, yet he did not get it. all the flowers, and apologies could not change the way his behavior affected me. thank god he never hit me, though on the last day that he shared our home with me, he did push me up against the stair railing, his grip so hard that it left bruises, the actual imprint of his hands, on both of my arms, in addition to bruises on my backside, from being pushed hard against the stair raiing. i knew he was hurting so i just let it go as he was leaving. i did not want to take what was already a very volital situation, and possibly turn it into a very violent one, especially when my son is there. this is just one example of his being out of control. verbal abuse, for me, is probably the worse type of abuse that there is. i would have rather been hit, than to endure verbal abuse. physical wounds heal, yet words never leave one's memory, and can scare one for life. it did, and has for me.

i have had a few serious relationships since, yet none of them would be with a man who knew how to treat a woman with respect, courtesy, kindness, etc., and also having control over what they would say. they did not know how to think before they spoke. also, their vices that were not attractive to me: smoking, drugs, drinking, and they all were career driven men who believed that they had absolute control over their lives. they wanted control over me as well. i would like to know what gives a man the idea that he can do whatever he wants after the good behavior period in a new relationship, and the time that goes on after? i am not perfect, and i do choose to not hurt others. i have good morals, and values, and have taught my son the same. it has been 22 years since my divorce, and it sadens me that i may never find someone of good character, morals, values, etc. there is much more to say, yet i have said enough already. your input is greatly appreciated.

i would like to say that many people that i know, including myself, are sick and tired of all the media attention given to celebrities these days. there are much more important things to report about these days. every single day that i put on my cable news, there is constant coverage about this celebrity or that celebrity. WHY? give us a break. its the holidays, so talk about important issues with regard to that if you need a topic. it happens to be a very tough time for many, including myself. thank you very much.

i was married to my son's father for almost 7 years. i thought he was pretty even tempered until the first time i saw my 'introductury' temper tantrum just prior to our wedding day. he seemed to get along in life just fine. then the day would come about where something would happen, and it was the straw that broke the camel's back. he would blow up so much so that i was literally scared for my life, even more so after the birth of my son. my ex-husband would put his fist though walls, closet doors, tear phone books apart so easily as if it was just a piece of paper, he would pound counter tops, scream into my ears, and then wrap this wonderful package with the worse of all words that a man can call his wife. he said that he believed that calling me these disgusting words would get my attention. he was verbally abusive to the highest extent. he always had my attention, he just did not look to see that it was there. in the end though he really got the my complete, and absolute attention; after all that i went through this with him - DIVORCE. he was so upset, and very sad. sure, i was too, i was in this marriage for the long haul, yet because i get up being abused which he knew, yet he did not get it. all the flowers, and apologies could not change the way his behavior affected me. thank god he never hit me, though on the last day that he shared our home with me, he did push me up against the stair railing, his grip so hard that it left bruises, the actual imprint of his hands, on both of my arms, in addition to bruises on my backside, from being pushed hard against the stair raiing. i knew he was hurting so i just let it go as he was leaving. i did not want to take what was already a very volital situation, and possibly turn it into a very violent one, especially when my son is there. this is just one example of his being out of control. verbal abuse, for me, is probably the worse type of abuse that there is. i would have rather been hit, than to endure verbal abuse. physical wounds heal, yet words never leave one's memory, and can scare one for life. it did, and has for me.

i have had a few serious relationships since, yet none of them would be with a man who knew how to treat a woman with respect, courtesy, kindness, etc., and also having control over what they would say. they did not know how to think before they spoke. also, their vices that were not attractive to me: smoking, drugs, drinking, and they all were career driven men who believed that they had absolute control over their lives. they wanted control over me as well. i would like to know what gives a man the idea that he can do whatever he wants after the good behavior period in a new relationship, and the time that goes on after? i am not perfect, and i do choose to not hurt others. i have good morals, and values, and have taught my son the same. it has been 22 years since my divorce, and it sadens me that i may never find someone of good character, morals, values, etc. there is much more to say, yet i have said enough already. your input is greatly appreciated.

i would like to say that many people that i know, including myself, are sick and tired of all the media attention given to celebrities these days. there are much more important things to report about these days. every single day that i put on my cable news, there is constant coverage about this celebrity or that celebrity. WHY? give us a break. its the holidays, so talk about important issues with regard to that if you need a topic. it happens to be a very tough time for many, including myself. thank you very much.