Quote From: losinendHey Bloss, you don't have to fight with him to regain YOUR power. You want YOUR power back? Than, just take it. You don't need permission from your husband. Treat yourself, again. Than, do it again and again and again...Feels great, doesn't it? Doesn't feeling great feel good? You are teaching yourself on how to treat you, now. Keep it up.
Keep that "light" in focus, my friend, for it can mean for a better future, not just for you but also for your kids. To be naiive, a pushover and allow people to just walk all over you is a matter of CHOICE! There is power in choices.
Your husband DOES need professional help! Is he open to it? You want the truth? Heck, I don't have to answer that for you. You already know. I bet you that once he realizes that you mean business about taking care of yourself, he going to try to reel you back in by making promises, and more promises. Idle promises--done in desparation!!! Or, he just might become very, very angry. So, please be cautious.
Oh, hell with it. I'm gonna answer that one question: Your husband definitely needs lots of counseling. You've allowed him to neglect and abuse you for so long, it is going to take a long time for him to make changes. A LONG TIME, GIRL.
By the way, are you gonna take your sister-in-law's advice and stay in the marriage? After all, she sure has lots of experience.
Hold on to your power. Only you can give it away. Peace.
...let her hear. Every point that losinend makes is a valid one. I will, however, make one caveat to paragraph 3. Even assuming he is open to counseling, beware of him trying to snow over the counselor to make himself look OK, end the counseling, and just go right on as before.
There is, truly, power in choices. I made mine over a decade ago and haven't looked back, even though there were declarations of "I still love you..." months after the divorce was final. His daughter (whose pending arrival 11 years ago "ended his life") is starting to wake up to his narcissism. Hopefully, she learns better and before I did!
Peace, and good luck.
