Replies to '12/08 Out-of-Control Husbands'

Quote From: lkh999

From what we see on Breaking Bonaduce, which obviously is heavily edited, leaving room for audience perceptions to be mistaken, Danny still seems to be bargaining.  IF I stay off drugs and do XYZ, then Gretchen will say she loves me and sleep with me again.  Even what he said to Dr. Gary, that if Gretchen didn't come through on her end of the bargain, he couldn't swear he'd stay sober, shows that he's linking his sobriety to her cooperation.  He's not doing it for himself, not doing it for the kids, who deserve to grow up with a dad who is clean and sober and dealing with his bipolar issues.  He's doing it purely to regain control of Gretchen.  And as long as he's thinking that way, I wouldn't bank on his sobriety holding up in the long run.

I grew up with an alcoholic stepfather, doing the steps, going to meetings, all that stuff.  I "get" addiction.  I also have bipolar family members, and I understand their addiction to the mania, the "high" side of it.  It's hard to let go of the drama and just be a normal person, and there's a lot of self-hatred that goes into it. 

Danny needs to decide whether it's more important to him to have those highs, or whether it's more important to live to see his kids grow up, and to give them memories of a dad who cared more about them than his addictions.  He can't have both.  He may think he's insulating his kids from the craziness, but last week's episode showed him wrap bacon around his dog's collar, and take the dog and his kids out walking at night, hoping the smell would attract coyotes.  The kids thought it was so cool. Anyone who has lived around coyotes, though, will tell you that a coyote that's hungry enough will tear that dog up in front of your eyes and/or attack a small child.  How cool would that be? It was all about the drama.  Fortunately it ended well, with none of the kids being hurt or traumatized (though I bet after seeing that ep, his kids' friends won't be allowed to come over again when he's babysitting). 

Danny has a lot going for him, but he's going to need to commit to recovery and start considering the well-being of his family before his own conflicting needs for control and drama.  Recovery is a rough road, but people do get on it and stay on it, and if he's half the man he seems to be, he's smart enough to sort himself out.