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Replies to '12/04 Heroin Twins: The Intervention, Part 3'
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December 4, 2006, 3:51 pm PST
 Quote From: sierra1966 Michelle... I could not agree w/you more in regard to the trend that our society seems to have adopted when it comes to taking responsibilty for our actions. I am under the impression that Dr. Phil feels that the stepfather of the twins should accept at least some of the responsibilty for the path that they chose. Quite frankly...I was surprised by this, as there are many abandoned children in this world who did not choose the path that they travelled. Furthermore...I really cannot find any circumstance that justifies injecting toxic substances into a perfectly healthy body or prostituting oneself to pay for it! Personally...I do not feel that the stepfather should be held responsible for any of their very, very poor choices. The reason for my response to your particular post; however, are the circumstances surrounding your daughter & the choices that SHE made. While her situation is far & away from that of the twins...I find that your position regarding your daughter & grandchildren warrants the same consideration that you gave to the twins' stepfather. Your daughter chose to marry an abuser. Worse yet...she chose to bring 5 (NOT 1 or 2) innocent 'victims', as you describe them, into this world! She also chooses to live in an area that is known for it's 'high cost of living' issues. Now...your position appears to be that she is not receiving enough from the 'State' might I add...in the form of hand-outs for choices that SHE made! Are you saying that the good citizens of California are responsible for your daughter's actions/choices...but the stepfather of the twins has no responsibilty in regard to their plight? As per your message, it is my understanding that you are assisting in the care of your 5 grandchildren? Therefore, your daughter has not only held the California taxpayers responsible for her actions...she is holding you responsible, as well. Moreover, what about holding the father of your grandchildren responsible for their care? Yes, I also agree w/you when you speak of free will. But...tell me...does this also not apply to your daughter? Dana. You two might have had tough times, but you had really good coping mechanisms. Just because you had a lot of hard stuff thrust on you doesn't mean another person has the same strength. I'm not saying they don't own anything in their decision to get lit. I can relate to the low self-esteem issues in childhood and how they can make you feel really worthless and suicidal. I can see how someone could turn to drugs to drown out the pain (like cutting for someone with an anxiety disorder). OF COURSE, the Stepdad DID have some ownership in this because the girls already had some abandonment issues from the biological father bailing out on them, but once they weren't "cute" anymore he did the same thing to them-jerk. Just like the dangerous doody-head your daughter thought would be a good dad. He's got quite a bit of ownership into smacking around innocent children-that really screws people up. He's got some kind of control issue and its HIS responsibility to admit that and get help-not the kids ownership that their dad abuses them-Last time I checked there was no circumstance that justifies abandoning OR abusing your kids. THAT's screwed up! You need to get some help, lady, because sooner or later, whatever's bubbling beneath the surface, the abuse, the arm, whatever- is going to find a way to peek its head out (repression).
It makes me so mad that people blame the victim when they really ARE victims! Unbelievable! Is it the victims fault when they're stabbed, beat up, shot at? Heck no! Go back and take a course in psychology at the community college, because youre really far off base!
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