Replies to '12/08 Out-of-Control Husbands'

I think that you should first and fore most find out why you still cling to a man that you put in jail for hitting you. I don't think that that is love, if you truely believe that it is then you need to find yourself first and then worry about a partner for life. I do believe in god as well but it sounds like you are relting on him to fix your problems- He is there in the good and the bad- weather it is good or not sometimes relys on your decisions not his. Love your self first and by all means don't talk to him- under any circumstances, while you are trying to find your self. Sometimes you have to distance yourself from people and things to see the true you. It doensn't sound like you love yourself enough to give yourself to be you first then be a partner. I have had a partner hit me and I put up with it for 6 years- it was hard believe me- he would come to my house- I called the police and ask them to remove him from my residence- then he started to break into my house while I was gone and would be there when I got home, I used my head- made him mad and the first chance I got ran to the door- got into my car and went to the police station and filed a report- he finally got the picture and I found out what a strong person that I was and have moved on and have been happily married to another man for 10 years- that never ever hit me- That was the first thing that I told him on our first date- If you ever raise your hand to me I will hunt you down and you will wish that you never met me. Need less to say- we apparently had more dates and he respected me for respecting myself. Think about it! I wish you luck.

It has been 20 years since I divorced an abusive husband and I can look back and see what misquided thoughts made me put up with it for 5 years.  First, I thought that he would change.  He never did.  After I divorced him, he remarried and threw a portable TV at his wife and broke her collarbone.  I saw her once in public with 2 black eyes.  Second, I waited for him to change because I thought that was what good wives do.  Now I know it's only stupid wives that wait for them to change.  Finally, I did not want to give up what I thought was security since I it was my second marriage, I had kids, a new home and after all, he was a hard worker.  After a while, I knew that I could live anywhere as long as I had safety and peace.

     Ladies, I'm telling you that if you live with any kind of abuse, you need to run and not look back.  Don't waste your life waiting for them to change. You will get old and wasted before they do, I guarantee it.  If you believe that you deserve better, you will get it and not until then.  I know.  Today I am a successful woman and I am enjoying a full life.  I knew that I deserved better treatment then I was getting and I will never let anyone mistreat me again.  There is a saying that goes, " Better to be alone than in bad company".   I promise you that if you love yourself, you will not be alone.  The bible tells us that we must give up what we cannot keep in order to gain what we cannot afford to lose.  Think about it.