Replies to 'Depression'

Quote From: hidden_sorrow

 I am not really one to talk about my problems and what make me depressed...but i will put what i put in my about me part of signing up

My name is Elishia and despite my first semester this year (2006) I am a very smart girl with a above average IQ. Plus I am very understanding and kind hehe.
but...

I have an abusive step mother that has tried to kill me three times in the past. The first time she chased me with a knife at the age of 7 or so for having a wet dream, I believe that is what it is called, the other two were  when she choked me. Because of this and the academic pressure she has pushed on me (such as 1000 sentece writing as punishment  during summer) I have declined in my studies and I lie to her often it isnt that i cant do it  becuase for everything i do turn in I get good grades on, It is that I am tired of having to be perfect for someone who veiw me as completely inperfect for that i see no point and i am tired. I am afraid to ask for what i want and to speak out, I am afraid of ones reaction and path that she chooses. My dad contiunely gives her chance. One day she almost went to jail for causing me to get stiches on the top of my head. The police came to my house, well it wasnt really a house which we owned. I lied bing very young but i am tired of the hurt tho the abusive part of her has gone down extremely. I wish for deliverance but find no way out. I am afraid of loosing all which i currently have and cherish and i do not want to dissapoint anyone, such as my dad and family and loving friends. I am lost and dont know where or what to do  I have bared living with her since i was little but i am tired and weak. so I keep wearing a mask and a smiling face. All I want is true happiness , love and and family. I wish for help....but will I ever find it?

Quote From: hidden_sorrow

 I am not really one to talk about my problems and what make me depressed...but i will put what i put in my about me part of signing up

My name is Elishia and despite my first semester this year (2006) I am a very smart girl with a above average IQ. Plus I am very understanding and kind hehe.
but...

I have an abusive step mother that has tried to kill me three times in the past. The first time she chased me with a knife at the age of 7 or so for having a wet dream, I believe that is what it is called, the other two were  when she choked me. Because of this and the academic pressure she has pushed on me (such as 1000 sentece writing as punishment  during summer) I have declined in my studies and I lie to her often it isnt that i cant do it  becuase for everything i do turn in I get good grades on, It is that I am tired of having to be perfect for someone who veiw me as completely inperfect for that i see no point and i am tired. I am afraid to ask for what i want and to speak out, I am afraid of ones reaction and path that she chooses. My dad contiunely gives her chance. One day she almost went to jail for causing me to get stiches on the top of my head. The police came to my house, well it wasnt really a house which we owned. I lied bing very young but i am tired of the hurt tho the abusive part of her has gone down extremely. I wish for deliverance but find no way out. I am afraid of loosing all which i currently have and cherish and i do not want to dissapoint anyone, such as my dad and family and loving friends. I am lost and dont know where or what to do  I have bared living with her since i was little but i am tired and weak. so I keep wearing a mask and a smiling face. All I want is true happiness , love and and family. I wish for help....but will I ever find it?