Replies to 'Depression'

Quote From: ashransam

well here is am again. not feeling to much better but alittle maybe. i did it. i made the appointment to go talk to a theropist. tomorrow at 3. i am really quite nervous. i feel like i am being judged. like i have now reason to feel the way i do. like these are all just petty little things and just get over it. i have tried and i have told myself to stop being so stupid but i cant get away from this awful feeling. my husband does not understand at all about depression. ok you did a stupid thing. you arent puking anymore go back to work. i told him that my doctor didnt want me to go back yet. his exact word were" monica you are a basket case.you need time to get better" i told my husband that and his reaction shocked me. just go we need the money. well if he didnt gamble everything we have away we wouldnt need the money so badly. hell if he didnt gamble it all away then maybe i wouldnt feel quite as bad as i do right now. i cant say these things to him because he will just start fighting with me and i know that it will just make me feel even more down than i do right now. i cant hadle it anymore. i just hate my life. the only good things i have done are my 3 beautiful girls. and even with one of them i feel like i have screwed up my 16 year old. i have made her an appointment as well. i am just a big screw up. well i hope things get better. i know they cant get any worse. i would just like to thank all of you that has responded to me. i am sitting here bawling like a baby because of some of the things that you have said to me. it is a good cry for once. i feel like someone cares and to be honest it feels good. thanks again and i will post more later.