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Replies to '12/06 Teacher Troubles'
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December 6, 2006, 7:14 am PST
 Quote From: ceildh1 In defense of the kids these days, they have much more to deal with, usually, starting at home. Have you ever read some of these childcare books ? "Don't trust your instincts " seems to be a big thing, trust the book, whichever one happens to appeal to you the most, so unlike even my parents in the seventies and eighties who depended on their instincts and parented us, this days we are told that is WRONG, and the book will tell all, parents become confused about what top do and the conflicting advice and "evidence" we are innundated with is incredible. Children are told as early as kindergarten that if Mommy or Daddy touches you in a way you don't like, tell us and we will have CPS or Social Services come see what's going on, even a teacher can get in trouble for patting a student on the back for a "Good Job". Parents have given their power away, why I don't know, but we did. Kids are coming from more broken homes now than EVER, Mom and Dad are BOTH working to make ends meet, it's NOT always a CHOICE whether or not to stay home now, and it makes it even harder for parents to keep a close eye on their kids, now kids being kids, especially teens, think back to that time, if you don't keep on top of things well we can a figure out where that can go. There are kids who are going home to Mom or Dad passed out drunk or stoned on the couch, or Mom and Dad being "TOO BUSY" to talk give the kid some money and snd them on their way. There are kids being badly abused at home, and lash out at ANY authority figure that they KNOW can't touch them. Parents do have to take back their power with their kids, I agree, but where is the line ? What constitutes abuse and what constitutes discipline, I've heard some saying that GROUNDING a kid is abusive, what is that all about ? When Brittany Spears and Christina Aguleria (?) have become our children's role models, or those horrid Bratz dolls that advocate being a fashionista instead of smarter than the boys, or how about the sports stars that have been charged for drug possetion or those rappers that glorify gun violence or the rock stars ( Marilyn Manson comes to mind) that glorify the evil in the world, we were in trouble. Parents allowing their daughters to go to school dressed like hookers in the name of fashion and freedom ? Give me a break. Or allowing their sons to walk around with their underwear hanging out, how about letting your teen get tattoos and body piercings whether you like it or not? Did these parents LISTEN to that young woman last week ? She wanted to hear the word "NO" she wanted limits, children NEED them, so we as parents have to STEP UP and take our power back, I truly belive the really rotten kids are the MINORITY,lets start focussing on the MAJORITY of kids who might be just lost and confused, a lot like us parents at times. while it's true kids have more to deal with these days, i submit it is because they are raised by their parents as pets--let the video games babysit, let the schools discipline, just so the parents can do whatever their real priorities are, working to buy a new big screen tv, or new furniture and the THINGS in life, instead of the EXPERIENCES people need to be having with each other! kids are given more before they are teenagers than most of us adults had to build over our whole lives so it is little wonder no one, parents nor kids, are growing values within their own homes. consequentally, when their actions affect others in society, society has the right to punish with the law. |
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December 6, 2006, 8:03 am PST
Quote From: ceildh1 In defense of the kids these days, they have much more to deal with, usually, starting at home. Have you ever read some of these childcare books ? "Don't trust your instincts " seems to be a big thing, trust the book, whichever one happens to appeal to you the most, so unlike even my parents in the seventies and eighties who depended on their instincts and parented us, this days we are told that is WRONG, and the book will tell all, parents become confused about what top do and the conflicting advice and "evidence" we are innundated with is incredible. Children are told as early as kindergarten that if Mommy or Daddy touches you in a way you don't like, tell us and we will have CPS or Social Services come see what's going on, even a teacher can get in trouble for patting a student on the back for a "Good Job". Parents have given their power away, why I don't know, but we did. Kids are coming from more broken homes now than EVER, Mom and Dad are BOTH working to make ends meet, it's NOT always a CHOICE whether or not to stay home now, and it makes it even harder for parents to keep a close eye on their kids, now kids being kids, especially teens, think back to that time, if you don't keep on top of things well we can a figure out where that can go. There are kids who are going home to Mom or Dad passed out drunk or stoned on the couch, or Mom and Dad being "TOO BUSY" to talk give the kid some money and snd them on their way. There are kids being badly abused at home, and lash out at ANY authority figure that they KNOW can't touch them. Parents do have to take back their power with their kids, I agree, but where is the line ? What constitutes abuse and what constitutes discipline, I've heard some saying that GROUNDING a kid is abusive, what is that all about ? When Brittany Spears and Christina Aguleria (?) have become our children's role models, or those horrid Bratz dolls that advocate being a fashionista instead of smarter than the boys, or how about the sports stars that have been charged for drug possetion or those rappers that glorify gun violence or the rock stars ( Marilyn Manson comes to mind) that glorify the evil in the world, we were in trouble. Parents allowing their daughters to go to school dressed like hookers in the name of fashion and freedom ? Give me a break. Or allowing their sons to walk around with their underwear hanging out, how about letting your teen get tattoos and body piercings whether you like it or not? Did these parents LISTEN to that young woman last week ? She wanted to hear the word "NO" she wanted limits, children NEED them, so we as parents have to STEP UP and take our power back, I truly belive the really rotten kids are the MINORITY,lets start focussing on the MAJORITY of kids who might be just lost and confused, a lot like us parents at times. I have lots of questions for you. Why do you find it necessary to talk about a childcare book or books and not give any quotes or name these books? Maybe you could help someone by swaying them away from those books that have false information or information that may be making their situation worse. Instincts have nothing to do with parenting in my opinion. Having preset morals and values are what I believe parents should be equiped with by their parents. Parents should be held accountable for not providing such things. How? You might ask. By having someone like a school phycoligist come and offer assistance for the family. Which I think it would be very benificial to both of these ladies and the families involved on todays show. I have had 2 of my 3 children go through kindergarten thus far. Each of them brought home a paper asking my permission for my child to participate in a program that will be teaching then about improper touching. I signed that paper both times giving my permission. When they came home they had a coloring book that had all the information I needed to help me talk to them about it also. I did just that. Parents have to get involved and build trust and moral values to let each child know that this behavior is wrong and they can trust you to protect them from it. Education is part of that protection. Can you provide a news paper clipping or other form of evidience that supports your statement, "even a teacher can get in trouble for patting a student on the back for a "Good Job." ?" You say, "it's not always a choice whether or not to stay home now." Are we as parents not the ones who make the decisions of how the family budget is set? Are we as parents powerless when it comes to limiting our kids accessability to the down falls of our society? My answer to both of those are NO NO NO! Parents have to be held "accountable for allowing thier daughters to go to school dressed like hookers."" By the school not allowing it. Sending the student home is not the answer. Calling the parent at work and bring it their attention is what has to be done. If that parent is lacking parental strength, then help must be offered and available. Also if that parent is uncooperative, then that parent(s) have to find another school for their child to attend. We have to be willing to step up and stand up for all, not just one. |
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December 6, 2006, 8:43 am PST
Quote From: ceildh1 In defense of the kids these days, they have much more to deal with, usually, starting at home. Have you ever read some of these childcare books ? "Don't trust your instincts " seems to be a big thing, trust the book, whichever one happens to appeal to you the most, so unlike even my parents in the seventies and eighties who depended on their instincts and parented us, this days we are told that is WRONG, and the book will tell all, parents become confused about what top do and the conflicting advice and "evidence" we are innundated with is incredible. Children are told as early as kindergarten that if Mommy or Daddy touches you in a way you don't like, tell us and we will have CPS or Social Services come see what's going on, even a teacher can get in trouble for patting a student on the back for a "Good Job". Parents have given their power away, why I don't know, but we did. Kids are coming from more broken homes now than EVER, Mom and Dad are BOTH working to make ends meet, it's NOT always a CHOICE whether or not to stay home now, and it makes it even harder for parents to keep a close eye on their kids, now kids being kids, especially teens, think back to that time, if you don't keep on top of things well we can a figure out where that can go. There are kids who are going home to Mom or Dad passed out drunk or stoned on the couch, or Mom and Dad being "TOO BUSY" to talk give the kid some money and snd them on their way. There are kids being badly abused at home, and lash out at ANY authority figure that they KNOW can't touch them. Parents do have to take back their power with their kids, I agree, but where is the line ? What constitutes abuse and what constitutes discipline, I've heard some saying that GROUNDING a kid is abusive, what is that all about ? When Brittany Spears and Christina Aguleria (?) have become our children's role models, or those horrid Bratz dolls that advocate being a fashionista instead of smarter than the boys, or how about the sports stars that have been charged for drug possetion or those rappers that glorify gun violence or the rock stars ( Marilyn Manson comes to mind) that glorify the evil in the world, we were in trouble. Parents allowing their daughters to go to school dressed like hookers in the name of fashion and freedom ? Give me a break. Or allowing their sons to walk around with their underwear hanging out, how about letting your teen get tattoos and body piercings whether you like it or not? Did these parents LISTEN to that young woman last week ? She wanted to hear the word "NO" she wanted limits, children NEED them, so we as parents have to STEP UP and take our power back, I truly belive the really rotten kids are the MINORITY,lets start focussing on the MAJORITY of kids who might be just lost and confused, a lot like us parents at times. I don't know how kids these days can deal with all they have thrown at them, but I sincerely believe that parents CAN mold their children from day 1 so that they are better prepared to deal with the world's evil and temptations and follow the right path to success and hope for their future. When my girls were little, when they stepped out of line (ie: talking back or hitting their sibling) I would stop it RIGHT THEN AND THERE. That behavior was squashed like a bug and they learned to know what was acceptible behavior and what was not. All it took was for my husband and I to BE authority to them and speak to them in a tone that got their attention.
Now that they are teens, they might step slightly over that line, but I pay attention and either I give them a consequence or they quickly back off knowing from experience that they need to find another way to express themselves or work out a problem or temptation. Neither of them would ever dream of placing a myspace blog that would hurt another person. They wouldn't do it because (a) if they were caught, they'd be in BIG trouble, and (b) because they have learned throughout childhood to protect and value others' feelings.
We have kept up communication so that, even if their problem is me, they know we can talk about them by putting all the cards on the table and showing what they feel is unfair and giving suggestions of how to change things. They dont' always get their way, but they have the abililty to debate politely and be troubleshooters. They are teens, learning to stand on their own, but I haven't stopped communicating, keeping track of their activities and whereabouts, and praising them when I "catch them being good". Slowly Mom lets go as they become more independent. My oldest has a job and drives there as well as to school. My youngest has after school activites that I let her participate in. I'm always there to catch them, but they are starting to walk that tightrope of life on their own and I truly believe they will continue to step out independently until they are fully there and they will be responsible and contributing adults.
I'm not saying all this to toot my own horn, but rather hoping that some new parent out there might see that this way works and do it themsef. I sure wish every parent would be diligent, strong and courageous in thier parenting, or seek help if they need it. |
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