Replies to '12/08 Out-of-Control Husbands'

I disagree with you, so pardon me. It is not the drugs and it is not the alcohol that is the real problem. It is, and always will be, the individual who consumes them. It is people who makes drinking and druggin a problem. Sure, drinking and drugging can lead to serious problems like addiction and alcoholism; like fatalities; family problems, law enforcement, court involvement; loss of job; just to name a few among many. But, an individual can chose to stop at anytime, and I mean at anytime. Sometimes it comes quickly and sometimes it comes slowly. It's up to the individual on how bad he wants to stop and stay stopped.

GOD can only lend guidance, strength and support in recovery (if you ask for it), but it is the individual who must do all the work. GOD is not going to do it for the individual.

From an alcoholic.....

I don't think drugs and alcohol is the 'real' problem. Its the 'ME, ME, ME' syndrom,  immaturity and the need to feel satisfied, happy all the time without putting in serious effort, but most of all its Laziness.

To lazy to make the changes necessary to have a happy life and not rely on drugs/alcohol.

To lazy to pull their finger out and find the life of their dreams - its easier to play the victim

To lazy to identify when they have a problem - before it gets out of control, learn to deny themselves

To lazy to take responsibility for their lives - there's always someone to blame for their problems (including god).

And that's what its become - There's always someone else to blame - Not many of these people take responsibilities for their actions. If they were truly honest with themselves, they would see they were always like this.

How do I know this - I grew up in a drug (& abusive) world, drugs and addicts everywhere, all types, all the time. I could tell the ones who were going to become addicts as opposed to a 'recreational' user, they were always the ones who couldn't take responsibility for their actions and always had someone (parents, partner, kids, welfare, govt., landlord, utilities, the b* t*h next door, anyone, etc) to blame when things went wrong. (Funny, I could also recognise the future victims of domestic violence - often more easily than recognising future drug addicts)

After 30yrs in this world, I was only wrong once, someone I thought was 'responsible' turned into an alcoholic within 2yrs, her brother was also an alcoholic, yet they are the first to admit they had the best parents (who didn't drink) and a wonderful childhood, good education, with parents who still love and support them to this day. They also had good jobs, excellent opportunities and both seemed very capable, were successful with the opposite sex and had lots of good friends, but both slipped into the 'me, me, me' syndrom (immaturity). They had it all, it came easily, too easily and they just lost control of themselves (laziness). Both are so bad now, they comfortably sleep in cars, gutters, on bar stools, etc, have lost the sense of hygiene and dignity.

I use to be envious of them when I first met them, now I'm glad life wasn't so easy for me, it gave me the strength to overcome the bad times.

This is why I believe, whilst childhood environment makes a difference, its still up to the individual to take responsbility of their own choices/actions.