Replies to '12/13 Holiday Horror Stories'

 
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happy
December 10, 2006, 1:14 pm PST

It's all about control

Quote From: violetmay

The story hasn't aired yet, but I can sort of relate to Joyce's situation as described in the blurb about the show. Maybe something happened in the first Christmas of her marriage that turned her off to it? I was married to a man who berated me mercilessly for the money I spent (which was well within our ability to afford) on Christmas ornaments and a tree for our first Christmas. He insisted Christmas was "just another day" and often refused to buy presents and only joined in the festivities when seriously prodded to do so. I did Christmas every year for the kids, but his attitude permanently ruined the holiday for me. After 13 years, I divorced him (20 years ago) but to this day, I cannot summon up the joy I had in Christmas that first year we were married.

 

Maybe something happened in Joyce's first married Christmas that permanently spoiled it for her?

Why would you let someone control your life like that? My ex hated Christmas and tried to ruin it... I laughed at the the idiot ,and told him to bugger off and grow up. No one controls me.
 
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confused
December 26, 2006, 7:58 pm PST

Something did happen

Quote From: violetmay

The story hasn't aired yet, but I can sort of relate to Joyce's situation as described in the blurb about the show. Maybe something happened in the first Christmas of her marriage that turned her off to it? I was married to a man who berated me mercilessly for the money I spent (which was well within our ability to afford) on Christmas ornaments and a tree for our first Christmas. He insisted Christmas was "just another day" and often refused to buy presents and only joined in the festivities when seriously prodded to do so. I did Christmas every year for the kids, but his attitude permanently ruined the holiday for me. After 13 years, I divorced him (20 years ago) but to this day, I cannot summon up the joy I had in Christmas that first year we were married.

 

Maybe something happened in Joyce's first married Christmas that permanently spoiled it for her?

I'm watching this episode as I write this

 

Yes something did happen beginning w/ how Joyce's husband has rubbed what she did 27 yrs ago in her face.  She didnt like a gift Rick gave her then so she took it back.  Ever since, he wont buy her a gift.

 

Problem I have is that Dr Phil was scolding Joyce for being a scrooge but didnt convince Rick that he had any role in ruining Xmas.  Instead, Dr Phil blames Joyce 100%.  Rick gets into the spirit by putting up a tree, decorations, etc but refuses to buy her a gift based on what happened in the '70s.  Joyce was doing her best to put on a happy face when the family is over but apparently that's not good enough for them.  She needs to have credit due to trying to make the best of it rather than being chastized for not caring for it.  On top of that, its clear that Rick forces it on her instead of letting her come back in the spirit of Xmas at her pace.  I believe if you want someone to like something or someone, you are to let them come to terms at their pace.  If you try to make them like it when they're not ready, it'll only hinder progress.

 

At the beginning of the show, Dr Phil set the tone that not getting into Xmas is taboo.  We've had it rammed down our throat w/ the massive commercialism we're bombarded w/ for several months out of the year to the point that its pushing Halloween out of the spotlight.  When I was growing up, the Xmas fiasco didnt start until near T-Giving and we didnt have 5 months of bills.  He, like others, needs to accept that the commercialism, extremely slow music, and decorating isnt for everyone and it doesnt make us scrooges or black sheep.

 


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