Replies to 'Pornography'

cheating is where you do something that betrays the other person's trust. It is where you turn outside the marriage for something you should be getting from inside the marriage.

I must say i do feel it is cheating.  When i went out of town for a few days and came home to discover my bf had been watching porn on the computer (which i stumbled across accidently) i felt as if he had actually cheated on me.  My heart  was    broken and i was physically sick.  But it made me understand why we didnt have sex the night i came home, he had been having it while i was gone.  Thats what really hurt the most i guess.  I missed him terrably when i was gone, i didnt even have coffee with any old friends.  Then i come home and find out he was getting off to the computer while i was gone, that broke my heart.  I guess what made it hurt more was the fact that he works nights so we dont even have sex as often as i would like.  It just made me feel as if he would rather get off to porn then to have sex with me, and that really hurt.  That happened back in august and im still not over it.  It has made me so ensecure and makes me feel like there is something wrong with me.  I dont understand why he did it, i havent been able to ask him because it seems so personal to me and its embarassing.  The thing is he was sorry and said he was stupid for doing it.  He was afraid he was guna loose me.  He is a very loveing man and would give me the moon if he could, and when we do have sex its not wild kinky sex, its very passionate love making so much so that it makes me cry.  So i know i dont want to be with a man that needs porn in his life, and he doesnt.  It was just that one time thing.  However i do worry about if i ever have to leave again.  But i do trust him also.  So i hope with time my pain will heal and i can get over this.  But meanwhile i am mending a broken heart because i was cheated on in a way.  Well i hope that helps at least a little.  Blindy