Replies to 'Differing Sex Drives'

A Penis ring, or pleasure ring will extend his erection by compressing the veins carrying blood to his penis. Because the blood is held in the penis by the ring, the erection stays until the blood is released through removal of the ring. I agree, viagra and cialis have many many side effects, and an outside appliance to preserve and erection is preferable! Be sure to remove it after 4 hours, because tissue damage can occur. THere are many types out there- if you'd like info on purchasing them discreetly, please let me know at    opsarge@earthlink.net    Queenie

Hello, I really did not want to say anything, but if this helps someone else, here it goes.  My husband and I have been married for 26 years.  It has been a struggle from the beginning, and I think we have stayed together because we are "used to each other."  In other words, we support each other.  We also do love, trust,  and respect each other.   

I had noticed that when he quit smoking, the problems with his lack of stamina during sex went away.  I have given a lot of though to the problem...he gets an erection, and orgasms quickly, one minute tops it seems.  He knows that he will become flaccid after we engage in sex after a few minutes into it, so he rushes, and is anxious to orgasm before his penis has a chance to become flaccid.   

No, it is not my tight vaginal muscles, or my talent; it's him.  LOL!  He went to the doctor this past   Saturday, and the doc said that he has high blood pressure to go along with the premature ejaculation/flaccidity problem.  I have told my husband that he could solve both problems if he just quit smoking for good.  Instead, he wants to try Levitra or something of the sort which can have side effects.  He isn't thinking straight.  I won't even kiss him because I don't like to taste cigarettes or smell it on him.  He won't give up smoking, so it makes me feel that smoking is more important to him than a healthy sex life with me.    

Your husband may have a health problem, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or diabetes which can contribute to sexual problems.  Make an appt. for him, and if he smokes and you ask him to quit, you may be able to solve the problems brought on by smoking.  I just can't seem to get it through my husband's head!  Quit smoking, and you won't need pills!   He is creating the problems.   

Hello, again... 

I forgot to say that my husband kept telling me that he just wasn't interested in sex.  I asked him if he was not interested in sex with me or with anyone else?  He said he had lost interest in sex altogether.   

I began to analyze the situation.  Of course he would say he is not interested in sex!  Since he knows he cannot satisfy me because it lasts about one minute, and he knows he will become flaccid - in order to avoid being disappointed in the fact that he ejaculates too quickly and/or becomes flaccid and cannot satisfy me; he would rather just avoid sex, period!   That may be what is occurring in your marriage.  Just be upfront with your husband.  Tell him how you feel, and maybe you may find a solution that you both could live with.  As for me, I don't know if I'll ever have sex again, or until we can take care of the problem.  This is very frustrating and hurtful because he keeps pushing me away.  The thought of him taking a pill when we are going to have sex turns me off completely.  I would rather not do it.  God Bless!  

I think that it is fair for you to ask him to use the viagra as directed by his doctor.  My husband is somewhat similiar to yours in this area.  His doctor told him he needed to use his brain and feelings to learn how to last longer.  It gets better part of the time, but I understand how your concerns fall on deaf ears, me too.  Try building his ego up and you take the lead.  Even if it doesn't work out the way you'd like, praise him and build that ego each time.  It has helped me.  Tell him what you want him to do for you...cuddling, kissing, etc.  He is probably mad at himself, like my husband gets.  Hope it helps.  I'm glad to know there are others out there with similiar problems.