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Replies to 'How Porn Has Hurt Our Relationship'

 
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Mellow

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hopeful
December 11, 2006, 3:11 pm PST

I agree with you....

Quote From: darcylove

maybe what was missing in my husband's life was someone.....but by the time I came along he was already addicted. I think in many ways he was lonely for attention (he had a large family but I can't say his parents weren't the best they could be for 6 kids). He had 3 sisters very close in age to him and being surrounded by so many with needs all the same at the same time I am sure was part of the cause. I often think that have a large number of children isn't always the best thing because something has to give. It is no different then having too many in one classroom.

 

I am sure this new board will not be popular to some on the other one. Support does not mean to me not hearing the other side but means allowing a person to voice without feeling attacked. That has not taken place at the other place in very long time. People need to know they have someone to listen and not always judge them. And in all of that ...guidance to finding the answer can happen. If showing up here only ends up with someone being faced with more blame and attacks....they turn away and get nothing.

 

I will check my email. I am in the middle of creating a photo collage for my son's friend for christmas so if I don't get back to you right away....that is why.

Aim new to this website.but since aim been here it been a very big help.i got so much insight about what porn has done to me and to many people like me.it nice to find site where you can go and talk about how your feeling and people will understand. I live on a small island and you cant really talk to anyone there with out the whole island finding out.

 

Its hard when you are married and your other half is looking at porn, but when he is looking at  female body builders now that hurts. You see after i had my children it changed my body.I don't have the same body i had before the kids. I conforted him about it and he tells me that he doesn't really know.so i asked him if thats kind of woman he wants, he told me no. it just dont make any sense to me. he tell me that iam the only woman he wants but he cant stop looking i dont think he cant stop he just dont want to. It really hurt  so much that i don't want to have sex with him. Dont get me wrong i like having sex with him. Its just that i can't help feeling that its the other women he is thinking about. I  tried of  everything i can , I have even been losing the weight and trying to get my body back to the way it was just to make him want me . but  the question i have been asking my self is do i want  to be with him. Before i go i just wanted to say Thank you

 

Aloha

hawaiiangirl

 
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Sad

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frustrated
February 14, 2007, 6:41 am PST

lonliness???

Quote From: darcylove

maybe what was missing in my husband's life was someone.....but by the time I came along he was already addicted. I think in many ways he was lonely for attention (he had a large family but I can't say his parents weren't the best they could be for 6 kids). He had 3 sisters very close in age to him and being surrounded by so many with needs all the same at the same time I am sure was part of the cause. I often think that have a large number of children isn't always the best thing because something has to give. It is no different then having too many in one classroom.

 

I am sure this new board will not be popular to some on the other one. Support does not mean to me not hearing the other side but means allowing a person to voice without feeling attacked. That has not taken place at the other place in very long time. People need to know they have someone to listen and not always judge them. And in all of that ...guidance to finding the answer can happen. If showing up here only ends up with someone being faced with more blame and attacks....they turn away and get nothing.

 

I will check my email. I am in the middle of creating a photo collage for my son's friend for christmas so if I don't get back to you right away....that is why.

I refuse to sugar-coat the nonsense in my husband's life.  I don't believe it's lonliness, because what he is spending his time filling his mind with does not counter-act lonliness.  Believe me, I was a self-medicater for a number of years.  I think the more correct term would be selfishness.  He's simply being selfish.  When my husband spends his time looking for porn sites and watching videos of women doing all kinds of nonsense, he's selfishly seeking to do what he finds pleasing without any regard to how it makes anyone else feel.  Then he has the nerve to give me attitude because I'm not the amoral person in the videos that he's been drooling over.  Nothing other than selfishness would allow someone that claims to love you to treat you that way.  And apparently nothing but stupidity allows me to stay with someone that I allow to treat me this way.
 


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