Replies to 'How Porn Has Hurt Our Relationship'

I wanted to address something your brought up here, but have to keep it brief as I need to be out the door in about 6 minutes lol.  Anyway - you write about your husband and how the type of women he is looking at don't match your body type.  First - believe him when he tells you that isn't the kind of woman he wants.  One thing you should know is that for many men, what they look at and fantasize about especially do not represent what they want in their actual, real world sex life.  I can tell you that my husband looked at some stuff that he had ZERO interest in actually doing.  It is absolutely possible for someone to fantasize about a person or an act that they don't ever intend to carry out.  I don't know if that is true of your husband, but it is at least possible.  As for the type of women he is choosing looking like body builders - perhaps your husband has some fantasies about having a woman dominate him.  I have no idea of course, if that is true, but it is at least possible.  Even if it is true, chances are he wouldn't admit it, because he would feel embarrassed.  Men are generally not comfortable sharing that they even think about being submissive.  Again - this may not match your husband and the main point I want you to get is that just because he looks at women like that does NOT necessarily mean he wants you to.

One other quick thing and then I gotta roll.  As far as losing weight - if you feel uncomfortable at the size you are and want to become more healthy through diet and exercise, then by all means do it!  Then you will be making a change from strength.  However - don't do it just to "make him want me".  Then you will be operating out of fear.  I have more thoughts on that, but really have to go now. 

Take care and I hope you and everyone here is having a nice Tuesday!  :)  Roxy

P.S.  Plz excuse any typos - no time to proofread!

I have never been to this site before now, but I've also never known about my boyfriend's membership to a live sex cam  website before now.  Ive known him for 3 1/2 years and have never known that he was interested in replacing me with other girls.  We're very serious and he's expressed to me that he intends on doing his best to be with me forever, but I guess I'm not the only woman he wants. 

I chose to reply to this posting because I know exactly how you feel in being so hurt that you don't want to have sex with your husband.  I also know how it feels to not have anyone to talk to.  My boyfriend and I just moved from the east coast to the west coast a month ago, so there's no one close by I feel comfortable talking to about this matter.  Anyway, this is what happened...

A few hours ago I was upstairs in our room.  My boyfriend came in and was being very sweet... rubbing my back, kissing me, blah blah.  When I wouldn't immediately have sex with him, he left the room and didn't return.  Long story short, after being curious as to what he was doing, I found out that he came downstairs, got on to his pc, and logged on to myfreepaysite.com-- which means he was watching live chic porn.  They're not even just pics.  They're live women working to make him happy without me.  He doesn't seem that type.  He was brought up very respectfully and I in no way had any idea he needed anyone more than me.  He has a membership, so apparently he uses this site frequently.  We do have sex on a regular basis, but if he gets impatient (though I didn't know he was impatient until I found the porn site) after 5 minutes of not being able to convince me to get into the mood, how about never?!  This was very hurtful.  I know he wouldn't want me to be looking at naked men, but I don't know how to approach him about it.  I have definitely been mature to his face after today's discovery, but I do feel silly and, because I'm so hurt right now, I feel I never want to be with him again.  I'm not getting rid of him, but I don't understand why he needs other women to satisfy him just because I wasn't ready exactly when he was.  I haven't talked to him about it yet, but while he's in bed right now, I'm choosing to stay downstairs on the couch tonight.  So I know he knows something is wrong.  We love each other, but it hurts that he needs more than me.