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Replies to 'How Porn Has Hurt Our Relationship'

 
allinall
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quiet
December 12, 2006, 2:14 pm PST

Another possibility

Quote From: kimikomine

I have been married for 6 years and for 6 years my husband has looked at porn and for 6 years he tells me its nothing; all guys do it; don't worry its not about you; yet 6 years later I am on the verge of getting a divorce, we haven't had sex in 6 months and I am finding out that even though some guys look at porn, they would prefer not to have to and the reason they do is because they are not getting their visual needs met with the person they are with. They may not be physically having sex with other women, but they are visually more turned on to porn then their women and little by little, admit they are losing their interest in their wives/girlfriends.

 

Porn use is not a simple matter and it is not to be treated lightly. Your husband is justifying his behavior by saying as long as he does not buy it......if its free then its ok....but if you think about that......so is going out and meeting a stranger that is also sexually promiscious. Two wrongs do not make a right and he is trying to make "free porn" right.

 

You have a child together and that child deserves to have a mom and a dad but this child does not need to have a mom that is depressed and a dad that is a sexual addict.

 It's a long shot that I'm not sure about but may be worth checking out. Was your husband employed for long? Not a question you need answer. If he was for over 90 days you may be able to get some help or referals through the State Unemplyment office or State Workers Disability office. It's an addiction obviously and he got fired because of an addiction so help may be available through that route.

Remember when calling and asking over the phone you usually will not be asked for your name until or if they can be of assistance. I say that because you just may be reticent and feel very ashamed about this. Just in case you are, don't give anyone your name unless they say they will be able to help.
 
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emeliz
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December 12, 2006, 3:01 pm PST

Trying...

Quote From: kimikomine

I have been married for 6 years and for 6 years my husband has looked at porn and for 6 years he tells me its nothing; all guys do it; don't worry its not about you; yet 6 years later I am on the verge of getting a divorce, we haven't had sex in 6 months and I am finding out that even though some guys look at porn, they would prefer not to have to and the reason they do is because they are not getting their visual needs met with the person they are with. They may not be physically having sex with other women, but they are visually more turned on to porn then their women and little by little, admit they are losing their interest in their wives/girlfriends.

 

Porn use is not a simple matter and it is not to be treated lightly. Your husband is justifying his behavior by saying as long as he does not buy it......if its free then its ok....but if you think about that......so is going out and meeting a stranger that is also sexually promiscious. Two wrongs do not make a right and he is trying to make "free porn" right.

 

You have a child together and that child deserves to have a mom and a dad but this child does not need to have a mom that is depressed and a dad that is a sexual addict.

I'm finding that all of this has actually made me stronger as an independent woman and it's mostly because I'm tired of trying to better myself to make a man happy that does nothing but hurts me emotionally.  I was very skinny when we got married and then after the baby the extra weight I gained stayed on and I'm still trying to lose it, I also ended up with bad stretch marks since I used to be so skinny. it's very hard to better myself when he keeps bringing down my self esteem with his porn addiction and my depression doesn't help either.  the past few days I've decided I didn't want to lose the weight to be better looking for him, i want to change to feel better about myself and stay healthy and keep up with my baby's busy world.  I've become stronger and yet a bit bitter about it all too.  I want to do things for just me and my baby now and not him. When I do get back into shape I feel like I should block him out when he realizes he wants me instead of just porn, because I want him to love me for me not my body. But I know that will only make things worse and it's not good to be bitter.  He says if i don't want him to he won't watch porn anymore, but I know that if I say that then he'll just watch it behind my back which only hurts me more.  I'd rather know whats he's doing then have him think he needs to hide things from me all the time.  he also says he'll get help for his porn when I get help for my depression when I try to bring up professional help again.
 
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