Replies to '12/20 Marry Me or Else!'

I am sure you got the 'playing house" phrase from my posting and waht I was talking about is that when one wants to marry and the other doesn't then in my eyes, that perosn who wants all the benefits of marriage but not the committment is basically "playing house". he/she wants it all, except for the whole committment and instead of caring enough for the one who does want it, they would much rather make them keep dreaming then to fullfill that dream/desire for the one who they are suppsoe to be in love with.

Now, if two peopel are ina greement and does not want to marry thent hat is a differnet story, for one is not being manipulated one way or the other. I personally was one of those women who insisted on marriage for I wanted it all, including the 100% committment. My husband had some issues that was keeping him from wanting to get married and they were holding him back from what he really desired and if I would not have insisted and stuck to my beliefs and desires, I would have been stuck ina miserable realtionship because he would have never dealt with those issues. We are all differnet int hese things but personally, I am glad I got what I wanted and really, he has everything he ever wanted and is very happy with the out come. The thing o fit is, everyone deserves to be happy and if a couple can't agree on their future, then they need to split and find some one else.

I wasn't about to settle for less then what I deserved and I advise all people to go after what you want, don't be manipulated, but a relationship is about two people, so communciate and figure out solutions that will make both parties happy and fullfilled, what's the big deal you want a committment,t hen what's wrong with taking it one step further....................................................

Well first of all God says that you are playing house because He tells us not to have sexual relations before marriage.  So if you are living with a man than most likely you are  having sex with him so you are already going against what God tells you to do.  Yes you still have struggles, not really all the same struggles.  Let me explain.

 

If you wait to have sex with a man before you marry him then you will build a stronger foundation.  You will get to know him, build a friendship before you become completely intimate with him.  Sex is like superglue, God intended sex to help us become more intimate with our spouses, it was a gift that we give to our husband after we are married.  If you are already living together and not married you can no longer give this gift of sex to your husband, which means it cheapens the gift of sex that God intended you to give to Him on your wedding night. 

 

Since there is not a real committment, ie marriage, yes it is a piece of paper, but it is more than that it is a committment.  It is standing before witnesses and God and saying out loud I commit my heart and my life to this person.  If you are not married you haven't done that and so that breeds an atmosphere of "this person could walk out on me at anytime", which creates an underlying feeling of distrust.  Waiting for marriage to have sex or living with your husband to be, allows yourself to know that your future spouse is willing to sacrifice for you by waiting for your hand in marriage.  If a person is not going to sacrifice for you, that means put your needs above their own before marriage, then they probably won't do it in marriage. 

 

You have the same struggles,but your struggles are underlined with trust issues and committment issues which exacerbates the problems, you can't see it, but your heart knows it and it is felt in your spirit, that is how God wired us.  You can try to do things your own way, but it won't work really, there will always be an underlying sense of insecurity in the relationship. 

 

God tells us that it is never too late to do the right thing, God is longsuffering He patiently waits for us to choose His ways and when we do He blesses us for it.  The best thing you could do is to get married, if either of you can't do that then what I have written about is true, if you can than God will bless your marriage.  God is for marriage He is not for living together.  God is not a killjoy, He wants the best for us, He knows what is best for us because He created us.  And if you want to know how something works look to the inventor you will get all the answers. 

 

His best is that you get married.  If your mate will not marry you then ask him to move out, yes it will be a hardship on both of you, but you know what? God will provide for you in amazing ways, just honor our Lord Jesus Christ and He will honor you back.  God doesn't promise that we will never have hardship, but He does promise that if we do things His way He will reveal Himself to us more and more and direct our lives more and more to His ways, which are always better than our own.  God uses trials to strengthen us and He will use this trial to strengthen each of you to make you more like Him.