Replies to 'Toxic Family Relationships'

Quote From: nscrchick

I am wanting to know if I should let this person back in my life again.  Long story short...I have an 18 year old daughter.  Her father has been in and out of her life as has his mother.  This woman is a drunk and a liar.  ( I know, you are thinking well this is an easy answer:)) Well, so is her father, but I am not talking about him.  Ever since my daughter was very small, I have heard that the phone works both ways, well I'm sorry it is not a 4 years olds responsibility to maintain a relationship with 2 adults.  Anyway a few years ago my daughter started seeing both of them again, and per usual, she was the one who was expected to call, and stop by and basically maintain the relationship.  I had always been in contact with her  and in fact when I was younger we were actually pretty close.  Well then I find out she lied to me, a whopper of a lie as far as I was concerned, and it had to do with my daughter.  Since then (2years ago)  I have had no contact with her and she called me  up a couple weeks ago.  I did tell her why I quit speaking to her, and she denied the incident, which is ridiculous, because she did 'fess up finally at the time.  Anyway she is ill, she has lost most of her family due to death and she wants to be "family again".  Now part of me feels bad for her and I am not the type of person who wants to hurt anyone feelings, but I just don't want her in my life and neither does my daughter.  I really don't think she has changed, in that she lied to me during our recent conversation.  And says she hardly drinks anymore, but in the same conversation, she kept repeating herself over and over, which is something she does when drinking.  I dont want to be heartless, but as I said, my wonderful daughter is 18, I can't make her have a relationship with them, nor would I.  I am recently engaged to a wonderful man, my life is going well and I just cant see how any good could come of a relationship with her.  I feel guilty, should I?