Replies to '12/20 Marry Me or Else!'

Miss Havisham The mad, vengeful Miss Havisham, a wealthy dowager who lives in a rotting mansion and wears an old wedding dress every day of her life, is not exactly a believable character, but she is certainly one of the most memorable creations in the book. Miss Havisham’s life is defined by a single tragic event: her jilting by Compeyson on what was to have been their wedding day. From that moment forth, Miss Havisham is determined never to move beyond her heartbreak. She stops all the clocks in Satis Houseat twenty minutes to nine, the moment when she first learned that Compeyson was gone, and she wears only one shoe, because when she learned of his betrayal, she had not yet put on the other shoe. With a kind of manic, obsessive cruelty, Miss Havisham adopts Estella and raises her as a weapon to achieve her own revenge on men. Miss Havisham is an example of single-minded vengeance pursued destructively: both Miss Havisham and the people in her life suffer greatly because of her quest for revenge. Miss Havisham is completely unable to see that her actions are hurtful to Pip and Estella. She is redeemed at the end of the novel when she realizes that she has caused Pip’s heart to be broken in the same manner as her own; rather than achieving any kind of personal revenge, she has only caused more pain. Miss Havisham immediately begs Pip for forgiveness, reinforcing the novel’s theme that bad behavior can be redeemed by contrition and sympathy.    

What is Mike's reasoning for not marrying you?  How have you rationalized his reasons in your mind?  What is Mike's definition of Love?  Why do you stay? what are your reasons?  Why does he stay or keep coming back?  Have you ever given him an ultimatum and stuck with it?  Why do you give in and let him come back?

 

When your family and friends tell you to move on why don't you?  What hold does he have on you, what are you afraid of?  30 years is a long time, but it's never too late to do the right thing. 

Well, you kick him out and he refuses to go, tells you that he has a surprise for you but have you received that surprise yet? "We  teach people how to treat us" and as long as you kick him out, but  not follow through and as long as you accept  his response that he has a surprise but you never resceive it,  (that is called manipulation, by the way) you are not even gonna come close to being fullfilled.

It is one thing for BOTH in the relatioship to want or not want the marriage committment, but another when one wants it and the other doesnst, something has to give and when one is manipulated into believeing what they want just so the other can have his/her way, that is NOT love and committment in any way, shape or form, it is nothing but greed and selfishness.

I know that going your seperate ways for a bit can either make or break the relationship but if your boyfriend wants to be with you, it will happen, if not, it wasn't meant to be. Manipuation is not the way to go and it sounds to me like you are being manipuated and if this is the case, you will never be all that happy, even if he does marry you, do not be caught up into being pleased so he can have his way, it's wrong.

you are being manipulated and he is getting his way with you even though are not happy. Why do you keep taking him back knowing that you are not going to ge tthe committment, sounds like you are very co-dependent ont his guy and that is nota good thing for you, seek help, and follow through with your instincts.............................