Replies to 'Dealing with Postpartum Depression'

Two months ago I gave birth to my very first son Preston. I didnt realize how hard it really would be until I was the one in the hot seat. Before I had my son, I had many issues during the pregnancy. I was very sick the first 4 months, I lost 30 pounds and it was horrible. Then when I was about 28 weeks, the baby stopped moving, I went to the doctor and he didnt seem to think anything was wrong. I went the whole day without any movement from him so I went back to the doctor and demanded that something be done. He sent me to a bigger hospital where they had found that I was dialated to 2cm and 50% efaced. From then on I had to go to the doctor once a week. Then when I was 32 weeks my body tried going into labor, they had to stop me, and this happened again two other times until I was 38 1/2 weeks and started the early labor. Doctor said it was safe and so I sat in the hospital all day, all night, until the next morning when my labor had stopped all together. He said I could stay there and labor or go home. I chose home for another 3 days when I was officially 39 weeks. I think with all the issues that I had, it made my mind go crazy. I mean I was a first timer and I had no idea what to expect, so this all scared me very much. This is when I think my depression started, although I didnt even think about depression because I thought it wouldnt happen to me. My marriage was on water the whole pregnancy, I didnt even want him to look at me or touch me. The sex, well that was out the window pretty much. And then there was the mother in law. She really put a strain on me, my husband and our marriage. After I had Preston I was so tired, very sad all the time, I didnt want to clean the house, cook, go out with friends or anything of that sort. It wasnt until Preston was 1 month 1/2 before I realized that there was something wrong. He was up all night, I was so tired, my husband had gone to work, and by 8:00 I was calling my best friend to come over because I didnt want my baby anymore and I wanted him gone, however that had to happen. I was very upset, my friend Lisa sent me to the doctor, they gave me med, and sent me to mental health because I wanted to kill myself and possibly my baby. That was my peek and it sucked royaly. I've been getting help and I suggest the same to anyone in this position. Even if you think its mild, its best to do something right away. I'm still very depressed but I'm learning ways to deal with it, and I'm also learning how to deal with my mother in law. Anyway if you have or are dealing with any of these issues, I'd love to hear from you. Its always better to talk about it then hold it in and I love to listen!

Good luck,

Amber