Replies to '12/20 Marry Me or Else!'

it makes a lot of sense to those of  us who  desire the full committment before giving ourselves away. It can actually work, I should know as many other people in this society. Those marriages  that do not work is because of selfishness and the lack of desire and work to make it loving and lasting. I didn't settle for less then I deserved and I stood my ground and thankfully the one I was in love with took the opportunity to sort out his baggage and fears before committing,.Sure, he would have been very happy living together first but I knew him too well, and I knew I didn't want to live with some one first. I was in love with him and I knew what I wanted but I wasn't going to settle, it was 100% or nothing and I got it. and truth be told, he is actually  very gratful that I stood up for my beliefs and desires, it got him to thinking about what he really wanted and he worked on himself to get to the place that I was and eventually we married, I was actually prepared for the worse but got a nice surprise when he proposed and soon to be 14 years later, no regrets with getting married and then living together, it actually works for those who  are truly in love and wants it to work.

Of course I was very happy as as single woman, a very secure person so I had nothing to lose, I either got the committment or I didn't, it would have been hard at first if we actually went our seperate ways, but being the person I was and am today, I would have survivied and would have been able to pick myself up, been through a whole lot worse in my life time and I still would not have regretted anything, for I would not have been willing to give myself away before marriage, I did the absolute right thing by standing up for myself and getting the guy to think about what he wanted, he had a choice, he made it and we are happily married today because of the committment.

I do not believe in forcing a person to do something he/she doesn't want. I also do not believe a person should have to settle for less then they deserve,therefore the couple must come together and figure out a solution that can work for both, I ersoanlly was willing to go on wth life alone, was no big deal, I had always been single and was very happy and could stand on my own, I knew the love was there but I wanted the full committment and I deserved to have that committment, he had free reign to decide for himself what he wanted, he took the time to think things through, to sort out his fears and baggage and whatever and when he did, everything worked out and we did want the same thing, the difference was, he was no longer running from something. I was willing to let go, he did the work that he needed to do on himself to be the person that he needed to be, we both ended up on the happy side of life, and that is what is imporant.  It most definetly makes sense to those who understand and want it.............