Quote From: retabhva I could not believe what I heard when I was visiting my parents
over Christmas. I was told that my adopted nephew (my brother
adopted him after he married the boy's mother) thinks that he is going
to live in my parent's house when they die. My brother and
his wife are now divorced but my nephew comes to my brother's farm and
stays with him when he is in the area. My brother lives a
mile from my folks. He took over farming my Dad's land. My
Dad is 85 and my Mom is 77. Mom and Dad live in a house that they
built in 1972. My Dad said that if he and my Mom dropped
over dead my nephew and his family would move right in. I told my
Mom if that happens, I would be done with the family. I have
three brothers and one sister. My Mom and Dad have eight
Grandchildren counting the adopted grandchild. What are the rest
of the grandchildren entitled to receive? Does my brother get all
the land and the house my parents live in? My Mom said that I
would have to go by the will. This feels like a bad dream.
I figured that my brother would be the one in the family that would
feel he deserved more that any other sibling. My brother is at my
Mom's house for lunch every noon. If my nephew is visiting, he
comes to the house for meals, also. The nephew will leave his two
year old daughter with Mom during the day while he is with my brother
on the farm. Maybe the nephew will get the farm after my brother
retires. I don't know anything about the will. My parents
are very wealthy. They own lots of land and livestock. I
have never felt accepted in the family. A cousin lived with us
while she was growing up. She bossed me around. Mom will
never admit that my cousin did anything wrong. Mom and Dad cater
to people that use them. It is like it makes them feel
good. It doesn't matter what I say, I am never understood.
When my nephew comes to my parents, he eats like a pig. I
noticed it on Christmas Eve. My brother, his new
girlfriend, her son and my nephew's family all came for Christmas
dinner. Mom understood that none of them were coming. My
nephew's wife stated that it is my Mom's job to offer people food even
when they do not want anything. Mom pushes people that are not
family to eat. It is nuts. I am the only sibling that would
make waves but it never does any good. I am the black sheep of
the family.
This must be hurtful, but by the way you describe your parents, it shouldn’t be all that surprising, right? My advice to you is if there is something you truly want, an item that you cherish and hope to get when they pass, that you ask nicely for it now. Don’t wait until it is too late. Since you already know that making waves won’t get you anywhere, don’t bother; you need to find a way to accept this and be at peace with it. It sounds like your parents feel that all of their children are fine, that you don’t ‘need’ anything; meanwhile, this nephew needs some assistance. it’s a shame, because it is very possible that the nephew might not care for the place. There isn’t much you can do.
