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Replies to '01/04 "What I Want This Year!"'
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January 3, 2007, 10:37 am PST
 Quote From: heren44 I AM REPLYING TO THE LETTER FROM GENNY2. YOU WANT YOUR STEPSON TO FACE THE FACT HIS MOM IS DEAD-THAT HE CAN'T CHANGE THAT? YOU WANT HIM TO STOP USING HER DEATH AS AN EXCUSE TO ACT BADLY; "PEOPLE ARE BORN, THEY LIVE AND THEY DIE EVERY DAY. WE MOURN FOR A SHORT TIME BUT THEN HAVE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE." YOU FAILED TO SAY HOW OLD YOUR STEPSON WAS......WAS HIS AGE LEFT OUT OF THIS CONVERSATION INTENTIONALLY? PERHAPS; HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT THAT HE DOES NOT WANT TO LIVE WITH HIS FATHER AND YOU BECAUSE YOU WILL NOT LET HIM GRIEVE IN THE WAY HE HAS TO FOR HIS MOTHER????? YOU ALSO NEVER MENTIONED; IS THIS AUNT HE WANTS TO LIVE WITH HIS MOTHERS SISTER? IF SO, THAT WOULD MAKE ALOT OF SENSE ALSO-THAT WOULD MAKE HIM FEEL CLOSER TO HIS MOTHER! I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, I WAS 13 WHEN MY MOTHER DIED. I WAS IN THE 9TH GRADE; SHE PASSED IN FEBRARY AND I DID NOT ATTEND SCHOOL EXCEPT FOR MAYBE A MONTH AFTER THAT FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR! CONSEQUENTLY, I FAILED THAT YEAR OF COURSE-BUT BY 10TH GRADE; THEY ALLOWED ME TO DOUBLE UP ON THE 2 COURSES THAT I FAILED, AND WAS BACK UP IN THE CLASS I BELONGED IN. BOTTOM LINE IS, I CARRIED MY MOTHERS DEATH AROUND WITH ME UNTIL 2000; UNTIL I FINALLY GOT COUNSELING FOR IT!!! MY MOTHER DIED IN 1970-I CARRIED THAT FOR 30 YEARS! BECAUSE NOBODY BOTHERED TO GET ANY HELP FOR ME; NOBODY THOUGHT ENOUGH OF WHAT I MAY BE GOING THRU!!! I JUST THINK YOU ARE SO WRONG IN WHAT YOU ARE DOING, AND HOW YOU ARE HANDLING THIS POOR KID-GROW UP; AND THINK OF HIM FOR A CHANGE-INSTEAD OF HOW YOU CAN CHANGE HIM!!! INSTEAD; HELP HIM! Yes, you go girl!! I want to respond to Genny2 also… You want to sit there and complain about your stepson… this is awful. This should really not be your problem. Perhaps he does not want to be raised by a feeling less overweight smoker who doesn’t want to believe anyone could possibly have it worse than yourself. You seem to be resentful of this boy for whatever reason; I would have to agree with your HUSBANDS CHILD on this, I would not want to live with you either. You say your little girl is the light of your life?? Ok, I get that but why is the other 2 your grown child and your HUSBANDS child not in that equation. I have 2 step children, they are wonderful, I have 3 of my own and I love them differently yes, but in no way would I choose one over the other... that is just wrong. I think you should have some empathy here for this young man. YOU HAVE BEEN THERE YOURSELF, perhaps you are just as I said too stuck in your own pain to recognize that this child HAS THE RIGHT TO HURT FOR HIS MOTHER who I am sure loved him very much and would never allow anyone to blame him for bad behaviors due to a PAINFUL DEATH. I am so angry with your statements AND YOUR BEHAVIOR WHAT CAN YOUR HUSBAND CHILD BLAME THAT ON?… YOU NEED TO GROW UP AND REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THIS CHILD THE LAST THING HE NEEDS IN HIS LIFE AT THIS POINT IS A SELF SERVING, NEGATIVE, HATEFUL, RESENTFUL ( I can go on) STEP PERSON (I don’t even want to use the term step parent… you have not earned it in my book!!) I HOPE HE CAN GET WHAT HE NEEDS FROM HIS AUNT!! CLEARLY YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF GIVING HIM ANYTHING WORTH WHILE AT THIS TIME….Dr. Phil needs to kick your butt!! You ought to be ashamed of yourself for pouting and whining about your pitiful life you have made choices and they have landed you right where you are!! On a kinder note… I think it is good you are asking for help, although it should be for YOU not your HUSBANDS CHILD. |
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January 4, 2007, 1:51 am PST
Quote From: heren44 I AM REPLYING TO THE LETTER FROM GENNY2. YOU WANT YOUR STEPSON TO FACE THE FACT HIS MOM IS DEAD-THAT HE CAN'T CHANGE THAT? YOU WANT HIM TO STOP USING HER DEATH AS AN EXCUSE TO ACT BADLY; "PEOPLE ARE BORN, THEY LIVE AND THEY DIE EVERY DAY. WE MOURN FOR A SHORT TIME BUT THEN HAVE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE." YOU FAILED TO SAY HOW OLD YOUR STEPSON WAS......WAS HIS AGE LEFT OUT OF THIS CONVERSATION INTENTIONALLY? PERHAPS; HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT THAT HE DOES NOT WANT TO LIVE WITH HIS FATHER AND YOU BECAUSE YOU WILL NOT LET HIM GRIEVE IN THE WAY HE HAS TO FOR HIS MOTHER????? YOU ALSO NEVER MENTIONED; IS THIS AUNT HE WANTS TO LIVE WITH HIS MOTHERS SISTER? IF SO, THAT WOULD MAKE ALOT OF SENSE ALSO-THAT WOULD MAKE HIM FEEL CLOSER TO HIS MOTHER! I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, I WAS 13 WHEN MY MOTHER DIED. I WAS IN THE 9TH GRADE; SHE PASSED IN FEBRARY AND I DID NOT ATTEND SCHOOL EXCEPT FOR MAYBE A MONTH AFTER THAT FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR! CONSEQUENTLY, I FAILED THAT YEAR OF COURSE-BUT BY 10TH GRADE; THEY ALLOWED ME TO DOUBLE UP ON THE 2 COURSES THAT I FAILED, AND WAS BACK UP IN THE CLASS I BELONGED IN. BOTTOM LINE IS, I CARRIED MY MOTHERS DEATH AROUND WITH ME UNTIL 2000; UNTIL I FINALLY GOT COUNSELING FOR IT!!! MY MOTHER DIED IN 1970-I CARRIED THAT FOR 30 YEARS! BECAUSE NOBODY BOTHERED TO GET ANY HELP FOR ME; NOBODY THOUGHT ENOUGH OF WHAT I MAY BE GOING THRU!!! I JUST THINK YOU ARE SO WRONG IN WHAT YOU ARE DOING, AND HOW YOU ARE HANDLING THIS POOR KID-GROW UP; AND THINK OF HIM FOR A CHANGE-INSTEAD OF HOW YOU CAN CHANGE HIM!!! INSTEAD; HELP HIM! MY STEPSON IS 13 NOW , HE LOST HIS MOM 5 YEARS AGO. HIS GRANDMA IMMEDIATELY TRIED PUTTING HIM ON PROZAC WITH OUT HIS DADS PERMISSION, WHICH MADE HIM HYPER AND WHEN YOU DON'T ALLOW A KID TO GO OUTSIDE HYPER IS A BAD THING!!!! AND HIS MOM WOULD NOT ALLOW HIS DAD ACCESS TO HIS SON FOR 7 YEARS AND THEN WHEN SHE DISCOVERS THAT SHE HAS STAGE 3 OVARIAN CANCER SHE DECIDES TO ALLOW HIM TO COME DOWN FOR A WEEK WHILE SHE WENT IN FOR A BIOPSY. THE WHOLE TIME NOT TELLING HIM WHAT WAS GOING ON. AS FOR LIVING WITH HIS AUNT SHE ENCOURAGES LYING ,REFUSES TO HOLD HIM ACCOUTABLE FOR HIS ACTIONS AND HAS ALLOWED HIM TO DRIVE A WEDGE BETWEEN HER & HER HUSBAND.AND YES THE AUNT IS HIS MOMS SISTER. AS FOR COUNSELING WE HAVE GONE THROUGH 7 COUNSELORS WE DON'T HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE SO WE HAVE TO RELY ON THE FREE COUNSELING CLINIC AT THE UNIVERSITY (UCF) THIS KID TAKES EVERY HEALING TOOL THAT HE IS GIVEN AND USES IT AS A WEAPON USUALLY AGAINST ME, HIS TEACHERS, OR HIS 3 YEAR OLD SISTER, AND SOMETIMES THE DOG. YOU CAN'T FORCE THERAPY, BUT YOU CAN'T PARENT WITH GUILT EITHER!!!! |
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